Bitcoin Exchange Cryptocurrency Exchange Binance

My saved items

Social justice stuff:

70 papers to support wearing masks
dude who went out dressed as a woman and got harassed
copypasta to refute the "only girls take selfies with the stuff they share"
racism is a mental health issue (tweet image)
abuses by police
why you shoudln't say all lives mattewhat does BLM mean
juxtaposition of police complaining vs police abusing
the iceberg of white supremacy
"microagressions I face as a black woman"
debunk of 13/50
another debunk of 13/50
another debunk of 13/50
examples of male privilege
opinions vs prejudice
all cops are bastards
literally all cops are bastards
response to someone saying that Africa is underdeveloped
list of things for cis people to know, from a trans person
some debunked trans stuff and also some scientific studies
police, racism, and white supremacy
police, racism, and white supremacy
false rape claims
just a funny video about nazis pretending they're not nazis
how old are animals when they are killed for food
crime stats about men
crime stats about men part deaux
On Whiteness: How Race and White Supremacy Affect Discourse Surrounding Masculinity
"life would be easier if I'm white"
discussion on "inspiration porn"
disneyvacation how to make the most of white privilege
"it's better now than it used to be" tweet
rape victim blaming (image)
the point of FWR
the alt right, pitbulls, and race realism
almost trafficked in Austin TX
wage theft infographic
white privilege image
image about women staying safe
“The law, in its majestic equality, forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal their bread.”
examples of systemic racism
Islamophobic myths debunked
Feminist stuff explained
what SRS is all about
free market capitalism and homelessness

Politics

biden is handsy with everyone, not just women/kids
"Why I'm skeptical about Reade's sexual assault claim against Biden: Ex-prosecutor"
Trump administration profiting off the pandemic
Poorly handling pandemic
lack of meals in schools (tweet image)
crimes of Roger Stone
Trump and Epstein
racist views of trump
GOP's attack on democracy
debunking of certain defenses of Trump (impeachment hearing? idk)
electoral college is stupid and Trump agrees
damage to international relations
"why do liberals think Trump supporters are stupid?"
more racist views of Trump
GOP on immigration (image)
"everything you need to know about American conservatism"
nunes buried evidence on Russian meddling
on hillary's email server
Trump colluding with Russia
GOP - party of "principles"
"why is the left so violent"
Trump doing dictator stuff

Workout stuff:

pullups
quarantine workout template
giant dude doing crazy bodyweight routine
list of every minimalist shoe on the internet
handstands
quarantine workout
some dude's workout routine/weightloss, check back to see if he posted his routine at all
bodyweight fitness workout stuff
something about L-sits and pistol squats
muscle-ups
various ab exercises
stronger by science podcast
common deadlifting mistakes
get cut/abs
reverse crunches
lift weight, eat more protein
bodyweight exercises
gym gif
handstand tutorial
vibram fivefingers sale
bodyweight workout
more bodyweight fitness stuff
proper running form
running/posture
calisthenics
muscle ups on rings
muscle up progression

Programming/tech stuff:

getting the best out of android
create a bootable pendrive
list of free sites to educate yourself
free alternative to photoshop that's not gimp
infosec tools
Python cheat sheet
how to make a reddit bot
another how to make a reddit bot
android development
raspberry pi stuff
make a gif longer than 15 seconds
221 free programming courses
android programming
import praw
IFTTT
"holy grail" of programming resources
bootable usb drives
free CAD and FEA apps
activate god mod for windows 8
android development
cool websites to bookmark
keep your mousing moving when afk
app development
android development
cerberus to recover lost phone
camera recovery
free online programming course (probably expired by now)
python for beginners
good PC programs to have
algorithms everyone should know
modify your browser's fingerprint

Misc:

common chess mistakes
what to say to kids instead of "be careful"
how to tie the strongest knot
M to F sex reassignment surgery gif (NSFW)
Terry Pratchett quote on satire
DIY concrete mantle
hierarchy of discourse
just a funny hamster video
growing potatoes
Michael Scott on hate crimes
tips for buying a used car
how to bowl a strike
AI experts from top universities slam ‘predictive policing’ tools in new statement and warn technology could 'fuel misconceptions and fears that drive mass incarceration'
correlation between gut biome imbalance and other issues
C&H it couldn't be avoided
happy halloween meme
gif of "fuck" from SNL
picture cube
good place to get glasses
the gymnast allergic to everything
psychological life hacks
critical thinking
educational websites image
opening things
diagnosing an engine based on spark plugs
austrian choir of 1982 (shitposting in modmail)
mental exercises to reduce dementia
loaded pretzel bombs
roll a coin across your knuckles
solar micro grid
reverse/parallel park
roadtrip playlist
fun hobbies for under $50
the 100 jokes that shaped modern comedy
catholic/bishop accountability
atheist parent resources
ideas for movies to watch
replace your brake pads for <$40
something about adware
signing up for clinical trials
ordering glasses
getting to yes
that's a peanut
cryptogram solver
copypasta of creepy gifs
bertram russell's "why I am not a christian"
recommended movie about time travel
biblical contradictions
continuum season 3 webisodes
religious arguments
transhumanism for kids
free stuff on the internet
record video and stream it to a remote server
amazon's 100 books to read in your lifetime
critical consensus of historicity of books of the bible
how to get started in dogecoin I think
cool websites to bookmark
learn skills online
55 great books under 200 pages
software to install on a new PC
telescope beginner's advice
cool short story
stories with aliens
scifi ebook to read
create a roth ira
muscle reading
hip new thing called "duolingo" or smth
introduction to transhumanism
how to keep your engine bay clean
hedge fund analyst research writeup
discussion of paranormal
get an SMS if there is an emergency nearby
debunking some YEC stuff
art of public speaking
being confident
interview with Malala
practicing another language
glass/bottle cutter
watch documentaries for free
watch nikelodeon online
pale blue dot
bunch of free textbooks
food allergies facts, myths, and pseudoscience
list of banned books by reading level
mindfuck movies
ebook with random esoteric skills
save money on prescriptions
learn electrical engineering
websites for learning
design lego projects
horror books to check out
sci fi movies to check out
40 awkward questions to ask a christian
good list of subreddits
free ebooks

just wanted to reference for latereddit stuff

https://www.reddit.com/OutOfTheLoop/comments/b1hct4/why_is_everyone_talking_about_the_ootl_mods/
not sure why I saved this but here you go: https://www.reddit.com/videos/comments/ggowxj/on_may_8_2005_one_of_the_greatest_videos_in_the/
mod drama
mfw muting someone
also mfw muting someone
mfw muting someone else
https://www.reddit.com/unpopularopinion/comments/b0hg3u/if_you_got_triggered_over_un8thegr8_youre_a_pussy/
thinking about those beans
some shit trashy mods did
fragile white redditors
I locked a thread to "prevent police from commenting" (aka I'm hilarious)
day of the spread
day of the spread also
summoning bots (saved over a year ago, they're probably all banned now)
n8 mods ihatewhitepeople
april fools 2019
community points
what does it mean to be not the onion
modmail search
angry at the admins
SPS notices the banout
darkjokes fragility boogaloo
top mod of upliftingnews mod-abusing
fortinbraz's bookmarklet thing on karmabots
one click reporting userscript
how to turn off push notifications
a tidbit about the sorting algorithm
threepanelpuns template
imgur info userscript
j0be's poweruser imgur script
shitposting from imgur by j0be
good piece of advice from gaywallet
bookmarklet to unhide everything on your hidden page
funny thing from centuryclubdrama
image about reposts
j0be bookmarklet to delete everything from your userpage
some javascript thing idk
[exchange karma for bitcoin (is this still even a thing?)](https://www.reddit.com/Bitcoin/comments/zqocl/exchange_your_karma_for_bitcoin_reddit_bitcoin/}
zadoc's HQG tutorial
another javascript thing idk
preggit's well rounded meme
all these saved items, and you had to be salty
mods who distinguish
mat01ss tutorial on giffing
mat01ss tutorial 2
mat01ss tutorial 3
another j0be script
shittywatercolour painted a comment I made
python script idk
centuryclub intro copypasta
reddit API that the1rgood wrote
ruby API thing
user history reddit bot
submitted by N8theGr8 to N8theGr8 [link] [comments]

Alpha Rovers greatest moments V2.0

It's been about 6 months since this list was last updated, let's see if we can get to 101. Currently at 76.
1-Pushes his cat in a cat stroller
2 -Gets another man to change a lightbulb
3 -Rides around on a 9bot
4 -Choked on a shot of whiskey
5 -Complained about his drawn butter
6 -Makes homosexual jokes about co-workers
7 -Mocks people with speech impediments and/or disabilities
8 -Watched all Twilight and 50 Shades movies
9 -Drinks Champagne all year round
10 -Befriended a mouse that lives in bushes outside his house. Claims mouse had "little mouse hands". (credit thehotsister)
11 -Asks women if they like backdoor action
12 -Asks women when they started developing breasts
13 -Facetimes with an 8 year old girl regularly
14 -Likes to tell stories about his threesomes with another dude, not sure as if he recalls having a threesome with 2 females. (Chaka7511) (Terryballsonchin)
15 -Started wrestling boys around the same time he started masturbating, not sure as if he recalls wrestling a girl. (Chaka7511)
16 -Likes to befriend turtles. (rawdog87)
17 -Hates every popular thing for inexplicable reasons . (blueskynoise88)
18 -Lets ex girlfriend Duji walk all over him. (blueskynoise88)
19 -Has never exceeded 199.99 pounds. (blueskynoise88)
20 -Dislikes people that are passionate about stuff. (jt312)
21 -Once downed a tub of animal crackers over the course of one show. (ThrashemCatchem)
22 -Calls B2's dad for anything that involes tools. (qigger)
23 -Once picked up a hammer and was rushed to ER by B2mywife for a sliver that was undetectable with modern medical technology. (SnitzTheGoat)
24 -Doesn't feel comfortable eating chocolate covered bananas in public. (Sanity0004)
25 -Sprained his wrist while attempting to vacuum. Bought a Roomba instead. (DetroitLightningSF)
26 -Loves telling long stories about the shit ton of dippin dots he ate over weekend. (Subtle_OG)
27 -Has expressed interest in learning more about soccer. (liluzipurp)
28 -Likes to freeze his chocolate dusted nuts. Claims they are delicious. (jeffmoss262)
29 -Got married in swishy pants. (Triceratastic)
30 -Plays the flute. (notdongbobbler)
31 -Has wife pump gas when he's not in his Tesla, that he owns, because it's electric and thus doesn't need gas. (MrsHoose6)
32 -Was shot but fortunately the bullet only grazed him and didn't leave much of a scar.
33 -Rarely mentions this subreddit and says Reddit like he's unsure what it is.
34 -Deleted message board from his website and claims he doesn't read internet comments.
35 -Doesn't like to acknowledge the city that made him. Prefers "The City where the show is based" and sometimes "Up north here"
36 -Wears a "nail bracelet" that his wife gave him for "nailing her so good". (hspencer1)
37 -When Anderson Cooper comes up, Rover likes to mention at least 3 times that he really likes Anderson Cooper.
38 -Was once kidnapped by a large woman and possibly sexually assaulted, but not sure...
39 -Favorite insults are "What a doooosh" and "What a jacknut"
40 -Invites a tech expert on show to take calls, makes a joke suggesting the tech expert is a pervert, then proceeds to answer calls himself.
41 -Ahhbsessed with anal sex. Likes to tell every hookup girl the proper way to do it. LOTS OF LUBE!
42 -Shaves all of his body hair, including his anus. Hmm...
43 -Chose to travel the world with Charlie, whom he insists is a beta homosexual. Strange coincidence...
44 -Bought an orginal Star Trek outfit for over a thousand dollars. Says Game of Thrones fans are nerds. (jerichosway) (lucky917)
45 -Claims he has never told B2 his wife that he loves her. (SnitzTheGoat)
46 -Allegedly told Duji he loves her when they dated.
47 -Had sex with Duji for a decade.
48 -Married a girl out of his league, B2mywife, but seemingly prefers masturbating in bed while she sleeps instead of sex.
49 -Had B2 his wife assemble his grill.
50 -Never spoke on the phone with B2 his wife until they married. Later shocks his fans by admitting that he did in fact speak to her before the marriage. (hspcencer1)
51 -Talks to Duji on the phone every morning on his way to work.
52 -Made a sex tape with Duji. Ewww that is sick!
53 -Would send emails to Duji posing as his cat.
54 -Took time off work when his cat died.
55 -Found out his dad died on the air. Shrugged it off.
56 -Sent his Uber driver back to pick up his baseball cap. (CantLookAway99)
57 -Doesn't understand how Charlie and Snitz have so much time to watch netflix and hulu. Proceeds to watch 86 episodes of the Sopranos in 2 weeks.
58 -Watches every Oscar nominated movie to prepare for the Oscars, then spends two days gabbing all about it.
59 -Cried in bed next to Duji when he was allegedly dumped by a local news reporter.
60 -Makes fun of Rush Limbaughs fake radio voice, used to sound an awful lot like Rush Limbaugh. See Dieter vs Butterbean.
61 -Likes to interrupt people to correct their pronunciation.
62 -Likes to stop in the middle of an email to point out a misspelled word.
63 -Doesn't follow anyone on twitter.
64 -Doesn't recall if he was engaged to Duji.
65 -Doesn't have kids, but cut ones umbilical cord.
66 - Claims rock is dead and thus has no choice but to listen to Pink, Taylor Swift and Camila Cabello. Even had a Range Rover that only played Pink. (Cantlookaway99) (Chaka7511) (Dieterswig)
67 -According to one eye witness Rover was seen dancing on his boat to a Pink song. (Mtneer24)
68 -Comes up with painful and/or humiliating competitions for his underlings but never competes himself.
69 -Used to pick up chicks by pretending to be an australian actor, complete with accent and his black friend Tyrone playing the part of bodyguard.
70 -Had an indian friend Patel, says he smelled of curry and didn't even know it.
71 -Said the girls of Babymetal were hot, not realizing they were 12-14 at the time.
72 -Thinks Track Jackets and Hurley hats are cool.
73 -Can not say the word "podcast" without immense disdain.
74 -His show is always #1 when an affiliate drops him.
75 -Handles criticism by talking louder than caller, then claiming said caller hung up.
76 -Says he was #1 before JLR and will be #1 after JLR. Most viewed youtube clip is JLR.
77 -Drinks La Croix.
Update 2.0
78 -Wrestles with co-workers 9 year old girl
79 -Plays mysterious "sleeping monster" game with co-workers 9 year old girl
80 -Kicked out of Auschwitz for squeaky shoes
81 -Says Cindy on The Brady Bunch was "the hot one"
82 -Called his co-workers morons for jumping on the Bitcoin bandwagon while secretly investing himself (calipiterseverywhere)
83 -Hosted illegal warehouse parties during his rebellious teenage flute playing years. (BigGulpsx)
84 -Wears hoodies in the summer. Too Alpha for AC. (chongo11)
85 -Lost wedding ring playing in the snow with ex-girlfriends daughter (chongo11)
86 -Asks for an opinion, proceeds to explain how opinion is wrong, just wrong! (NwoNW)
87 -Approves of a rejoin shitting on other shows for doing lists, proceeds to do 1-2 lists per show. (NwoNW)
88 -Gets tour bus with his face plastered all over it to get the show more exposure, then hides bus in secluded parking lots. (jeffmoss262)
89 -Wants gun regulations for people with mental health issues. Lost his shit when his ex-girlfriend went on a date. (PeterMEWL)
90 -Wore zippers fashioned into a jacket in Paris. (Fartboxboy4life)
91 -Shits on Dieter for keeping his girlfriend now wife secret. Was in secret relationship with Duji for a decade. (Fartboxboy4life)
92 -Gets an upset tummy when he drinks beer. Going to Germany for Oktoberfest.
93 -Frequent emergency bowel movements and avoidance of B2 suggests leaky butt and explosive diarrhea, possibly from a stretched/weakened sphincter. (DeeJayShawDay)
94 -Has spent entire segments arguing over the correct pronunciation of Maybach.
95 -Is pro eugenics
96 -Explained away a pile of tissues next to his bed as being the result of so much sex with B2mywife.
97 -Laughs at JLR for getting a prostitute. Brags about dating a porn star.
98 -Flooded the engine of his sport suv by driving through a puddle (sandiegotaco)
99 -Still claims he's never told his wife that he loves her but is sure to tell her how much he appreciates her everyday. (Roger4Pres)
100 -Has pictures of co-workers 9 year old daughter all over his workcenter. (Roger4Pres)
101 -Rover during his teenage years of running from cops and banging chicks left and right. https://imgur.com/gallery/MzRS0h4 (DeeJayShawDay)
102 -Claims he can throw a baseball 75+ mph but on the day he was going to prove it his wrist starting hurting. (Roger4Pres)
103 -Claims he has a friend. What's more, this friends name is "Crank" and Rover talks to him about once a year. (Roger4Pres)
104 -Became an expert in mental health after working in a mental hospital for 1 year, but doesn't like to mention this more than once every 3 hours. (mos661)
105 -Is sure to let every black celebrity he interviews know that he had a single mother and they were poor when he was growing up in Vegas. (mos661)
106 -Made his wife quit her job to “help” with all of his business. Does not pay her anything, then bitches when she wants something. “B2 is looking for a new car, well I guess I’m getting a new car cuz I’m paying for it” (hspencer1)
107 -Made the decision to become a soccer fan at the age of 42 and immediately flew to London to watch a game. Not interested in Cleveland sports teams or even acknowledging they exist.
108 -Somehow grew up poor despite his parents being a doctor and a lawyer.
109 -Loves gabbing about his non-processed diet. Goes to Dairy Queen at least once a week with some little girl.
110 -Once spent an entire segment bitching at Charlie for using a day and a half of vacation time. Meanwhile, Rover is going to Europe for 3rd or 4th vacation this year.
111 -Will CANCEL your RMG+ membership if you bitch about RMG+. Gained Legendary Alpha status as a result. (hspencer1)
112 -When he walks around the block by his house he is always traveling uphill. It is currently unknown how he achieves this seemingly impossible feat. (multiple mentions)
113 -Was surpised by the speed of a turtle he tried to catch.
114 -Won't push a shopping cart or carry out leftovers as these are the job of a woman. (hspencer1)
115 -Has his 93 pound wife drag the garbage cans to the curb. (hspencer1)
116 -Has B2 deal with handymen that do work around the house so he can pretend he's too busy to fix things himself.
117 -Suggests he's going to fire Duji for her poor news reading skills on a daily basis for close to 20 years.
118 -Had a marker thrown in his face by Duji. Promised to get back at her one day. This was around 2015.
119 -Continues to do a poor impersonation of JLR despite universal hatred for it.
120 -Kept quiet while Gene Simmons treated him like a little bitch.
121 -Said Rob was a horrible person for denying he was the father of a child. Rover continues to deny he has any kids despite spending all his time with one that looks just like him.
122 -According to a recent poll, Rover is the second least liked person on his own show. This might explain why Duji is still around.
123 -Says everything on Reddit is a lie. Everything on this list is a verifiable fact except a few that are more speculation.
124 -Says "Iced" instead of "fired"
125 -Says "The hiv" instead of "HIV"
126 -Instead of coming up with entertaining radio bits he prefers to spend his time working on the technical side of the show like the "WIRES!" and the broken video player that is RMGTV. Too full of himself to hire a professional. (johnclevohio)
127 -Instead of simply calling it "the news" he insists on calling it "the shizzy, the news" (moss661)
128 -Went to a sex club and got serviced by some hot chick but can’t quite recall any of the details (NwoNW)
129 -Says a little bit of JLR goes a long way. Fans say hire JLR full time and get him in the studio.
130 -Claims he is lifting 30lb dumbbells, could easily prove it but chooses not to.
131 -Takes a girl he claims he's not the father of to "Daddy daughter dances"
132 -Was enraged when he learned Snitz was making 1 to 10 dollars a week on Twitch. Says fans were only donating that money because of his RMG fame.
133 -At 5 years old he experienced a lifetime of adventures.
134 -Made his wife cry when she bought the wrong candy bars for Halloween.
135 -Befriended an insect, possibly a silverfish, that lived in a hole in his shower. (zdriver7)
136 -Flew First Class while his wife rode coach. (zdriver7)
137 -Is so dedicated to putting on a good show that he arrives a full minute before the show goes live. Only arrives late 1-3 times a month.
138 -Shits on Bob and Tom for fake laughing but acts oblivious to Duji's incredibly fake and annoying laughing.
139 -Promised a 10 year retrospective. 10 years ago.
140 -Allegedly gave Duji a six figure payout when they broke up.
141 -Frequently inquires about the age of Snitz's daughters.
142 -Rates his wife a 7. Also rates Duji a 7.
143 -Asked a guest if his sons were "well hung"
144 -Made his wife cry by taking 30 seconds to make reservations at a restaurant (LarryJarocque)
145 -Complained for years about pain in the tip of his penis. Was cured by a finger up his butt. (LarryJarocque)
146 -Frequently shows up to work with a white substance on his lips (LarryJarocque)
147 -Was spotted in the wild wearing these https://imgur.com/a/FVMlwhg (Roger4Pres) (notdongbobbler)
148 -Says Americans are fat and stuff their faces with Doritos and cheeseburgers all day. Is fat and stuffs his face with animal crackers.
149 -Buys a million dollar bus to tour the country and go to all the big events. Goes to something called Spiedie Fest instead. A festival dedicated to cubed chicken in a bun...
150 -Blocked his door with a heavy old typewriter so he could have his virginity taken without interruption. (NwoNW)
151 -Chose not to get his wife anything for their first anniversary.
152 -Has special wipes for his oily eyelids.
153 -Only buys the douchiest of vehicles. Ranger Rovers, Teslas and possibly a G-wagon soon.
154 -Isn't comfortable drinking tap water because it runs through pipes while recognizing the fact that bottled water also runs through pipes. (jtr489)
Any suggestions not added means they're most likely covered already.
submitted by Icanttaedujianymore to RoversMorningGlory [link] [comments]

r/Bitcoin recap - July 2019

Hi Bitcoiners!
I’m back with the 31st monthly Bitcoin news recap.
For those unfamiliar, each day I pick out the most popularelevant/interesting stories in Bitcoin and save them. At the end of the month I release them in one batch, to give you a quick (but not necessarily the best) overview of what happened in bitcoin over the past month.
You can see recaps of the previous months on Bitcoinsnippets.com
A recap of Bitcoin in July 2019
Adoption
Development
Security
Mining
Business
Education
Regulation & Politics
Archeology (Financial Incumbents)
Price & Trading
Fun & Other
submitted by SamWouters to Bitcoin [link] [comments]

Diary of a Douchebag: FC does a gun show, Part 2.

Friday, 1PM: I leave work early. I have to set up for the gun show early because the only time my mechanic has for the alignment rack for the next week and a half is friday afternoon and I am in need of an alignment to keep my Michelin Defender's in a nice predictable wear pattern.
My loadout this weekend includes a whole bunch of the usual stuff, Colts, Sigs, HK's, Glock's a few Springfields and four Daniel Defense rifles and an FN SLP Mk 1. I haul over a few used guns that I just took on trade too, a Tavor 556 LH and a Mossberg 500 that I got for $100 off someone wanting to trade it towards a new Glock 23. Four trips with the hand truck gets everything in before the rain starts.
I have reserved two tables but I have enough merchandise to cover three. The exhibitor tells me tables went up so two tables cost me $160 for the weekend and I consider it a small expense to view the express train to hell that is the gun culture.
45 minutes flies by as I set up my table just the way I want it and I get to Lenny's to get my alignment done. He's been doing an alignment for me no charge for the past 3 years after I told him NOT to buy an old Browning shotgun he fell in love with on gunbroker. He wanted to use it for upland hunting, sporting clays, skeet and anything moving through the air killing. It was an old gun that had FIXED barrel chokes - Full and Full. I told him RUN LIKE HELL. He said my advice saved him from a $1500 mistake and the least he can do is keep my car on the road no charge. He gets my car set up on his $80,000 hunter alignment rack and finds my toe in is way out of spec. He spends a few minutes banging around with a wrench and everything is all good. As he's doing that, since I know he won't take my money - I walk to the 7-11 across the street and grab him a tall boy of Rolling Rock. His week is so shitty that he shotguns it faster than Brett Kavanaugh circa 1982. Time to head home. I'm halfway there when the phone rings ring ring
FC: Go for FC
1: Hey FC, it's Captain Bob. How's it going?
FC: Good! I got your stuff fixed and ready to go on my desk.
1: I can be there in 15 minutes!
FC: I'll turn around, see you in 15.
Captain Bob is a four stripe left seat pilot for Delta on the triple. We love talking airplanes and guns. He's had me tune up an old 220 he wants to use at a class he's taking at FLETC later this year. Like a good pilot, he believes in a comprehensive pre flight inspection. And since his type rating says B777 and not P220, he wanted someone to make sure he's not taking a dud to class. All I did to it was give it a visual, clean and lube and although it probably didn't need it - it had a 20 year old recoil spring so I installed a new one just as a precaution.
I get back to my desk and get his gun ready, cleared and slide locked back as he walks in the door. He just got home from running a 777LR to Johannesburg and back and is very pleased to see his old 220 ready to roll. I take my glasses off and point out he's got a little bit of slide peening in a few spots but just keep it lubricated and it's normal wear and tear since he does not shoot it much.
He asks me if I have any 300 blackout ammo, I pull a case of 220gr OTM off the shelf. I tell him $450 on the ammo and the pistol inspection and recoil spring is on the house and he's having none of it. Hands me five crisp hundos and tells me to keep it. Just as I'm tucking the cash into my desk drawer, my door opens up and since I'm not wearing my glasses - I see a blurry silhouette of.....is that wonder woman? HUGE TITS on a small frame. I can't tell what's going on.
FC: Hi!
Lady: Hey FC, it's Lisa. I was just getting my wedding dress altered next door and wanted to say hi!
FC: Oh hey! I'm not wearing my glasses so I have no idea what's happening!
Lisa: See you tomorrow!
FC: I'l be there! So anyways Bob, that was strange. I am normally not used to having my door flung open by halfway attractive women.....
Bob: Neither am I! You should see some of the FA's on the J'burg route!
We have a laugh. Some more airplane talk about the old 72's and I tell him about the time I greased it in the box on the A320. Turns out he flew A320's as well as boeings and we revel in the differences in both the airplanes. I really like the Airbus design and their workflow even though Boeing guys love to hate it. He's happy with his 220 and we pull chocks.
I head home, throw a ribeye on the grill and go to bed early. I've got a busy day in the morning.
Saturday morning I wake up at 7AM and look at my to do list. Shit shower and shave. The gun show closes at 5. Lisa's wedding is at 6. The venue is at the lake 39 minutes from the VFW hall. I have a plan. I will leave STRAIGHT to the venue from the gun show and I'll put on dress clothes below the belt. After all, how often do you look at another man's pants? I throw on an HK black NO COMPROMISE Polo shirt untucked with a black alligator belt and Canali navy slacks with my new Allen Edmonds boulevards in black. Socks by Brumell and boxers by Fruit of the Loom. I walk into the VFW hall with a non iron Lauren white spread collar shirt, Ted Baker tie and Canali jacket slung over my shoulder. Nobody notices the pitter patter sound of leather soles on the concrete as the show starts coming to life.
It's 8:55. Lets get this show on the road.
The loudspeaker crackles and lets everyone in the hall know the doors are about to open up and asks us to check all our guns for ammo and zip ties. I get my table ready and pull out my 4473's on clipboards and check my pens. FFL in frame is standing up on the table, everything is tagged and tied. There will be no discharge of firearms at my table as a result.
9AM: Show opens. It's dead. Deader than dead. Like, life support dead. Typically there is a line from the entryway of the hall and around the building to get into the show every time.
This is not the show of years ago. This summer has been atrocious. I talked to the promoter and lots of vendors did not reserve tables for this and the next show. The numbers are way down.
Some people start to trickle in but it's not a good sign.
9:30AM: A fellow walks up and asks me if I have a Sig 226 TACOPS with TB in stock. I don't but vendors do. He drove 2 hours to this show to try and find one since his local place did not have it. They're on contract with sig and refuses to order one from distribution to make him happy and Sig has no idea when they're going to make more out of New Hampshire. Well, thanks to Ron Cohen making 26 SKU's for every single pistol - that's what you get.
9:41AM: Fellow wearing an INFOWARS shirt molests way too much merchandise on my table than I'm comfortable with. I shoot a knowing eye roll to Noah over at the next table. He's a 27 year old jewish gold bullion dealer from Long Island that votes libertarian and laughs at all my jokes. He adjusts his RON PAUL FOR PRESIDENT banner hanging off the edge of his table as I wait for Finger McBangerson here to go away so I can wipe down all my stuff.
10:23AM: Guy walks up to me and he says he's looking for a shotgun for competition. I point him towards the SLP at the end of the table.
10:24AM: Older fellow walks up to me and says he's looking for a gun for his wife as he lifts up a Colt Commander. I tell him that will definitely kill his wife. Guy looking at the SLP cracks up laughing. Older guy looks at me mortified. Then he gets the joke. Asks me about suitability of a steel framed colt commander for her. I say probably not a good first choice. Perhaps you should send her to an NRA basic pistol class.
10:39AM: Guy asks me what's the best I'll do on a Glock 17L. I tell him the tag is already priced more than fair. He asks if he can buy it with cash if he can get a discount. I'm like let me see. I ask him if he's got a state CWL. He says yes. I take off $20. He says it's a deal, hands me a stack of money, current CWL and a California drivers license.
FC: Do you have residency in this state?
1: No, I'm here visiting for work
FC: And you want me to sell you a gun with a California drivers license and no residency?
1: DUDE! KEEP IT DOWN! Do you have any idea what would happen if people found out I didn't live here?
FC: YES I DO! They wouldn't be a party to you breaking the law!
I hand him all his shit back and tell him to get on the next flight to Fresno.
12:01 PM: Lunchtime. I pick up my sammich from Jersey mikes and nobody fails to interrupt me to throw money at me. This is not a very good sign.
12:16 PM: I am scarfing down the last of my sandwich as Infowars shirt guy comes back around. We chat a bit about 1911's and he eventually tries to convince me that I need to buy the water filter that Alex Jones is selling to keep us from turning homosexual. I tell him now I'm not gay, but look at these shoes. I pull my left hock up and put a nice shiny new Allen Edmonds boulevard on the table. He seems to recoil in horror. As he walks away, I tell him he didn't even notice that I had them straight laced! They're fabulous!
Nobody understands my humor.
12:33 PM: The vendor to the left of me is selling clothing offensive to the left. MAGA hats, anti snowflake shirts, ISIS hunting permit graphic tees, etc. I debate calling one of my guys and having "MAKE 45ACP GREAT AGAIN" hats made up. I call up r_shackleford and he thinks this is genius. We trade witty banter back and forth for a few minutes.
12:49 PM: The vendor in front of me is a gigantic pawn shop with 16 tables. There's a woman trying to sell them a rifle, and not succeeding at all. Sam looks over at me and points and says to her "you know, he buys guns too!"
FUCK YOU SAM.
FUCK YOU LONG.
FUCK YOU HARD.
The hambeast approaches and thrusts a rifle in my face. "WE BUILT IT CUSTOM" she says. "I NEED MONEY FOR CHEMO" she says. The barrel says 223 Wylde. The lower says Aero Precision. The price tag says $1500 OBO. I tell her she'd be lucky if she got HALF that in this economy. She complains that they really need the money and her two demon spawn that are traveling with her seem to be tired of her getting the same speech from every vendor in the hall.
NO YOUR GODDAMN HOMEBUILT 223 WYLDE AR15 IS NOT WORTH $1500
It's not even worth $750
It's worth MAYBE the same price as a new PSA rifle - $350, $450 tops if you threw in the little girl.
Editors note (start voice over here): Hi, I'm Matt Damon. Human trafficking is no laughing matter. For just a small donation of $50 or more, you can fight human trafficking. I prefer that you donate to Rapha House International, a charity dedicated to preventing sex trafficking and providing care and treatment to its victims. If you go to the post in the top of guns and donate, you can even stop shitposters like FirearmConcierge from posting stuff like this for the rest of the month if you donate enough money. This sort of support can only be made possible from viewers like you. Please, donate today. Stop the suffering. For the little girls. For reddit. For America.
The lady looks at me like a truck stop rapist and inevitably proclaims that SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S GOT. Words fail me. I shake my head as she walks away with her demon spawn and I shoot a look back at sam and mouth very carefully YOU FUCKER back at him. Sam cracks up laughing.
1:12PM: I'm asked if that's a Dead Air Sandman on my table. I say yes. Guy asks to look at it and explains to his friend that it's a DAA Sandman and talks about the mounting system.
FC: You know your stuff.
1: Yeah I just bought one.
FC: I'm the only DAA dealer around here, you don't look familiar. Who'd you get it from?
1: Silencershop. Used the kiosk at a dealer in another city 1.5 hours away
FC: Uh, I stock the sandman and would have made you a deal. Why'd you do go through them if you don't mind my asking?
1: Well it was a timesaver.
FC: How's that? I mean that place I know is an hour and a half away without traffic, so you made a trip there to do your stuff - then back. That's 3 hours. Then another 3 hours after your stamps clear - so that's 6 hours in a car total. I can call the PD, make an appointment for you to roll your prints and you're done in 15 minutes. Photos at CVS are another 15 minutes. How is 6 hours a timesaver instead of 30 minutes?
1: Well I just knew that if I had to make more than one stop I'd never do it, so it was spend 6 hours in a car and get it done in one shot or spend 15 minutes doing fingerprints or photos and being too lazy to do the other one and never sending in the paperwork. So this was the better choice for me.
FC: Uh. Okay?
1: Why don't you have a kiosk?
FC: I'm not paying $9000 for something that's going to save you time and cost me money and then have to deal with being tech support and having a device in my place of business that compresses my own margins. We're down to making $50 on a can from making $350. This isn't a position I'm interested in taking.
1: Well, sucks to be you. I'm buying all my cans from silencershop now!
FC: Enjoy your 6 hour drive.
1:30 PM: Man walks up with an old stainless combat commander colt. Series 70. No original box and sights. Looks well used.
Thinks I’m crazy when I say I won’t give him $1000 on trade.
1:39 PM: Guy comes back. Guy wants me to put a can on his 1917 eddystone that is not threaded. He asks what he can get for $150
1:45 PM: Lady picks up a Trijicon RMR and asks to turn it on. I shove a battery in it and turn it on.
1: This is a laser sight right?
FC: This is an RMR from Trijicon and RMR stands for Ruggedized Miniature Reflex sight - it uses a laser of sorts and projects it onto this lens here....
1: THIS COSTS $500? AND IT DOES NOT EVEN PUT IT ON THE TARGET?
FC: Well if you just look through the lens here you can see the red dot projected onto the glass.....
1: I CAN BUY A $30 LASER POINTER AND DUCT TAPE IT TO MY GUN AND I'D BE $470 CHEAPER AND IT WOULD PUT THE LASER ON THE BAD GUY! WHAT IS THIS GARBAGE YOU'RE TRYING TO SELL?
She walks away. My mouth is agape.
2:15PM: Old guy walks up and points at a Glock 34 I have on the table. MY FRIEND BOUGHT A GLOCK IN 89 WITH NYPD AND SHOT HIMSELF HOLSTERING IT. I DONT TRUST THE DAMN THINGS and shuffles away without me having time for a rebuttal
2:21PM: Someone walks up asking me if I want to buy a used les Baer Comanche. I tell him I buy when I can make money. I look at it. It’s clean.
He wants $1600. Street is about $1600, that's all the money. Street the gun sells for about $1799 NEW, which means I can buy it for less than $1600 new. I tell him this. He looks at me like Elizabeth Warren looks at Brett Kavanaugh and shuffles away. I shake my head as I notice a familiar face walk up. I can't place it. He looks at some guns.
2:25PM: I'm asked if I have a card from the familiar stranger. I reach down into my wallet and fish one out, I hand it to him and he smiles at me. It finally clicks.
FC: Dr Livingstone, I presume.
Doc: I haven't seen you in years, how have you been?
(The doc is FC's old therapist. He can't say hi to me walking around due to HIPAA but if I open a dialogue, it's okay)
FC: Eh, same old shit different day. I uh made some mistakes a few weeks ago and I thought of you.
Doc: Oh really? How so.
FC: Well uh. You remember that day when I told you to go back to the Office of the Bursar at UCLA and ask for a refund on your $125,000 post graduate education because it was nothing but academic detritus?
Doc: Well, I hadn't thought about it for a few years but it sounds like something you would say.
FC: It was right after you told me that I used 3 different quotes from 3 different academics in a span of less than 5 minutes to answer your question. You said that I intellectualize as a defense because I don't like getting close to people. I said you're full of shit. You asked me do I even know what intellectualize means? I said of course I know what it means, what do you think I'm some kind of idiot? Then you sat there grinning like a Cheshire cat at the thought of making me eat my own words.
Doc: Haha. Now, that sounds familiar. I remember that.
FC: Well I don't know how many patients are willing to say it but you were right and I was wrong.
Doc: I don't get much pleasure in hearing that, but did you learn anything about yourself?
FC: It took a few years to realize you may have been right all along but yeah.
Doc: Then what does it matter who's right or wrong as long as you learned something?
FC: Hmm. That's not bad. How's business?
Doc: Full appointment book and not taking new patients.
FC: I guess you could say it's........a little crazy?
Doc: I missed your humor. Tell me about this Glock 45...
I show him a few different guns and crack jokes about disgruntled patients. He says he'll think about arming himself what with crime and mentally unstable people being growth sectors in this post-trump apocalyptic nightmare. I tell him to be fore warned is to be fore armed. He seems reticent, but I can only lead the horse to water. I can't make him drink.
2:51PM: Fellow walks up.
1: I need a colt ladysmith. Do you have one?
FC: the colt or the ladysmith?
1: The colt ladysmith
FC: is it a colt or a smith?
1: smith
FC: which model?
1: the ladysmith!
FC: I know but I need to know what model. They put that on a bunch of different guns
1: it’s the one with writing on the side of the gun. It says. LADY SMITH on it. You know the one
I realize the strongest case for repealing the second amendment is spending a day talking to people at the gun show.
3PM: Two hours left to go! The end is in sight! I haven't sold a single fucking gun yet!
3:02 PM: Man walks up. Hey do you have the new Sig 925?
FC: You mean 365?
1: No the 925
FC: Sig does not make a 925
1: Yes they do, it's the new one.
FC: The 365?
1: No! The 925!
FC: Can you show me a picture?
1: It's the one on the magazine.
FC: Most of sigs guns have magazines.
1: I mean the one in print. It's on the cover.
FC: The cover of the periodical you mean?
1: Yeah! You know the new one!
FC: Well if it's on the cover, it should be easy to find on google. Can you show me a picture?
1: There's nothing coming up on google for the Sig 925
FC: Maybe perhaps its because it's the sig 365?
1: I'm telling you it's not that. It's the new one they just came out with. It's the 925.
FC: Care to make a wager?
1: No.
FC: If you bring me a photo I can try to narrow it down.
1: I'll find the magazine at home and bring it in tomorrow.
FC: Periodical.
1: Whatever.
3:11: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUFSB2plwzM
3:12: Numismatist neighbor Noah asks me a question
Noah: Hey! What's a hi point?
FC: A cry for help!
(everyone laughs)
Noah: No I mean price wise?
FC: Like $100, they're garbage guns.
Me and Noah start talking. I am moving more and more libertarian every day. He's the treasurer of his local LP chapter in Suffolk county. For a jewish kid from Riverhead, we sure have a lot in common. We get into an animated debate on the virtues of Kelo v New London in that it was a shitty position for the town of New London to take Susette Kelo's house for redevelopment under eminent domain. If they wanted to redevelop it, for the government to use eminent domain is a government run amok. As a libertarian, he hates government overreaching - as someone who also hates that sort of thing, we are in very vocal agreeance.
The tshirt vendor is listening to us debate the merits of the case and how the SCOTUS created a TERRIBLE precedent regarding government using the takings clause and when we finish he asks us a question.
TShirtGuy: How the fuck do you two know so much about a supreme court case?
Noah: Well, when you went to college and you're an economics and pre law major....
FC: Let me make it simple. WE ARE NERDS!
Everyone has a laugh.
TShirtGuy: Speaking of funny, check this out! He holds up a shirt.
It says in big print on the front: the the reason gun shows exist is so women can know what it’s like for when they drag men to the mall
I chuckle.
3:13 PM: I get in an argument with the republican candidate for office of something or other on gun laws. He is stupid and he is going to lose.
3:23 PM: A nice lady walks up. She looks familiar. She looks at some guns and feels up a 226 and remarks how well she likes how it handles.
FC: You're Bernice, aren't you?
Bernice: Why yes I am! You do not look familiar. How do I know you?
FC: You're still working at the courthouse right?
Bernice: That's right!
FC: Judge Snyder, right?
Bernice: No! He moved up to the appellate circuit last month it's...
FC: Judge Reinhold! That's right, one of his JA's called me to buy a gun last month. I forgot Christine told me, you're right.
Bernice: Holy crap, you have an incredible memory. When was the last time you were in front of Judge Snyder?
FC: Four years ago. I was the one that filed the motion citing the big lebowski.
Bernice: OH MY GOD THAT WAS YOU? I remember that!
FC: Yeah and I had to go dumpster diving to get my phone back. Shit, was that really 4 years ago? Fuck.
We talk more about guns and stuff. She loves her old West German 226. I tell her that if she really wants to have some fun, she should ask Judge Snyder to tag along on his next range day. About two years ago, the judge called me up asking for some advice. He's Tet offensive era USMC and wanted a new toy to reach out and touch someone and was dead set on getting a new SR25.
I talked him out of it because SR25's are stupid expensive. I knew of another dealer that had a T&E 20" SR25 that they were looking to unload cheap and I told him that with the amount of money he'd save going to the T&E gun versus the new one - the delta would more than cover a Nightforce NXS, rings and mounting and that would save him money and be a good performer. I'm friends with his daughter on facebook and they both looked like they had a lot of fun ringing the gong at the gun club.
Bernice is impressed. Too bad she's not my type, we'd get along fantastically if I was 15 years older.
4 PM: 60 minutes left to this shit show.
4:04PM: The loudspeaker crackles. ATTENTION ATTENTION: BRETT KAVANAUGH HAS JUST BEEN CONFIRMED TO THE SUPREME COURT.
The proletariat rejoices and hooting and hollering typically reserved for the LSU game breaks out in the hall.
ALSO WILL THE RED JEEP PARKED IN THE FIRE LANE PLEASE MOVE - YOU ARE BLOCKING THE BBQ GUY FROM LEAVING. RED JEEP. MOVE OR YOU WILL BE TOWED.
4:11 PM: Guy walks up in civvies.
1: I wanna buy this but I’m not a state resident
FC: well what’s your deal? Give me some more to work with.
1: I’m from Texas but I’m in the military
FC: if you got your orders - PCS to any base in this state says you’re a state resident, but if you don't - I can't help you. I know a lot of guys don't travel around with their orders....
JUST AS I SAY THAT the guy pulls out a wad of hundreds out of his pocket and his PCS paperwork, signed, rubber stamped and billeted.
THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.
I give him the clipboard as I look at his paperwork. No blank spaces, approved change of station to Barksdale AFB, address reads base housing, everything is in order for the young airman.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THIS IS AMAZING.
Forms done correct on the first swing.
I AM WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP.
I call in the transaction and they tell me that the national system is down. NO IDEA WHEN IT'S GOING TO BE BACK UP.
I tell the USAF that the system is down and we can't do anything. He takes my card and hands me money and says just call him when it's ready to be picked up. Huh. Okay, he's cool with that. His girlfriend lives over here so he's back here every weekend. Done! I mark up the paperwork with some notes.
4:23 PM: One guy just walked up and told me that he had no idea HK made rifles. Apparently made a bunch of rifles a few years ago and stamped glocks name on them for Glock. Since Glock can't be found out to be making rifles. This captures the attention of another guy who asks me if my Glocks on the table have fluted firing pins. I tell him they do not make fluted firing pins. That makes no sense. He says yes they do make sense. They're fluted so they shoot underwater.
4:28 PM: Noah's table has someone in front of it debating buying some gold. As they delve into the discussion of gold and FIAT currency, I hear the following.
1: Bitcoin is a webpage. It’s like buying stock. Bitcoin issues shares and it dilutes so the price goes down.
Noah: I don't think that's how it works.
1: You’re basically buying a part of a big webpage
FC: This is like listening to someone try to explain that pi is exactly 3.
Noah: What's wrong with you?
FC: I am the Anthony Bourdain of the gun world. I eat, I drink and I yell at idiots.
4:45 PM It's getting close to show close, I need to get ready for the wedding. I grab my Lauren shirt that thankfully is non iron and just dressy enough to work and just casual enough to be worn without a tie if you need to and whip off my HK polo. I put on the shirt and tuck it in as I notice a lovely couple walk up out of the corner of my eye. Its Jim and Jane, Jane is a pharmacist that works at the hospital and Jim is a Gastroenterology resident at the hospital too. They buy lots of guns from me. I finish tucking in my shirt as we talk shop.
Jim wants 6 cans, 3 handgun and 3 rifle and wants to know what his options are. I rattle off all the options I would look at and I write some down on a legal pad for Jane to show him on the computer when he gets home. We talk 762 vs 556, 45 vs 9mm and direct thread vs QD for about 10 minutes as I tie off my blue Ted Baker tie into a Pratt knot. The apex of the tie just touches my belt buckle. Length is right on the money, and I didn't even have a mirror. Jane approves of my knot and color selection. Go me.
4:55 PM: Fabulousness achieved, I call back in and find out national system is still down. FUCK. Well this is gonna have to wait till tomorrow. I shove Airman Cecil O'Malley's paperwork under the table and start stowing stuff since the show is about to close.
4:59 PM: Table is covered up and FC is walking out the door as the announcement crackles over the loudspeaker. THE SHOW IS CLOSED. PLEASE LEAVE THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR.
5:01 PM: On the way to the wedding! I stop at Target along the way because I've forgotten to get a card. I find one that says "It was meant to brie" on the front. It has some greeting card herpes, aka glitter on it but I have no time to be picky. As I'm in line to checkout I write something cheeky.
"I always said love was cheesy and I camembert it sometimes.....Love, FC"
The cashier scans it, I plug my amex into the card reader as I slip in a yard in there and seal up the envelope and slide it into my jacket pocket.
The ride to the lake breaks every speed limit in two counties.
5:45PM: I arrive 15 minutes before the ceremony is about to begin and the parking staff puts me in the back lot. I hike over to the open bar and get a fresca. I'm supposed to behave myself, so FC quit drinking and is just chilling with a fresca as he scans the room.
I know NOBODY at this wedding except the bride, groom and MAYBE the bride's massage therapist. Nope. I know nobody here. Awwwkward. I behave myself and sip on a fresca as the wedding starts. She gets married. She says yes. He says yes. FC is an ordained minister and can step up and marry someone in case there's an emergency but my services will not be needed at this wedding because things are going smoother than a cold filtered miller genuine draft. It's all good. The DJ announces the new couple and they walk down the aisle together as husband and wife for the first time. The music starts playing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNEgUPKxk7A
ITS HEAVY D AND THE BOYZ! I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO A WEDDING WHERE THEY PLAY THE COUPLE OFF TO HEAVY D! I mention this to the people sitting next to me and they're like it's just like hitch!
I'm like what?
They go on to explain to me that it's a movie. Starring Will Smith. Huh. Didn't see that one.
5:45 PM: The open bar and the food is coming out. I look around and I definitely do not know ANYBODY HERE. I need to eat and go home. I grab a plate of cocktail shrimp and some lobster sliders and sit down at a picnic table away from the crowd. I don't even notice a busty brunette with cleavage showing also sitting at the table staring at her phone across from me until she says hi.
1: Hi.
FC: Hi.
(I scarf down a lobster slider. Munch munch)
1: So how do you know the lovely couple?
FC: Well she was a friend of a friend and next thing you know I'm showing up to the Christmas party and the wedding. Then Seth is showing up and then they're getting married. You?
1: I work with Lisa, I'm a flight attendant. But I've been out of work for a few months. We had this thing at work. It's called a fume event. I happens when well uh how do I say?
FC: Contaminated bleed air via the pneumatic air conditioning kit - or PACK - gets into the cabin, causing all sorts of respiratory irritation and all sorts of other things for the crew. You're on the 320, right?
1: The airbus? Yeah. Me and Lise are also on the....
FC: 321 and the 319. Yeah, I'm familiar with the technology.
1: You're a pilot.
FC: Not exactly. I just know airplanes really well.
1: So you're an aerospace engineer.
FC: I wouldn't go that far. Hahaha. That's stretching it. A lot.
1: Let me get this right. You're friends with Lisa and Seth, you know airplanes, you're the only one at this wedding actually wearing a suit......
FC: To be fair, it's Louisiana in October. We're lucky most of the folks here aren't wearing Mossy Oak and Realtree.
1: Hahahahahhah! You must live in Baton Rouge!
FC: I do.
1: Me too! What part of the city? I live in (names neighborhood)
FC: I'm over in (neighborhood next to her)
1: OH MY GOD! That's 10 minutes from my house! So anyways, you're smart, you're funny, where have you been all my life? I'm Ally.
FC: I'm Will.
1: You wanna get dinner together? I literally do not know anyone else here and I was thinking about leaving before I met you.
FC: Uh sure. Lemme just top this fresca off.
1: I'll join you.
6:15 We're told by the bartenders to grab a ceremonial wedding tervis tumbler with a patch commemorating the happy couple's nuptials hermetically sealed inside. They didn't want a bunch of red solo cups going to the dumpster so they decided to ball out. I walk up to the table where there's literally 200 tumblers in varying colors to choose from and I grab a random one as Ally grabs one too. We head to the bar, she fills her with vodka and sprite. I top off with ginger ale because I'm staying sober and I have to drive 45 minutes back to casa de FC in BTR.
She asks me how I know so much about airplanes, I tell her it's been a lifelong obsession and I've done some ground school on the 320 and the 737 and I much prefer the 320. I ask her what's tough about her job and she tells me that most people don't know they only get paid when the doors close. I say yeah, block time is a real bitch sometimes. She looks at me like I'm crazy. I'm like what? She's like HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BLOCK TIME? I told you, I know airplanes. We chat some more as the crowd gets drunker and drunker and more ridiculous on the dance floor. Someone requested Strokin' by Clarence Carter and the DJ ACTUALLY PLAYED IT. Goddamnit Lisa! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A DO NOT PLAY LIST? Wow.
7:10 PM We find some seats for dinner as the buffet opens up, I pile a bunch of chicken marsala and beef wellington on my plate and we head back to the table. She's only a few years older than me and cannot believe that I am single. She asks if I've tried tinder. I tell her the tinder story about me being stuffed into the back of a police car and it is met with raucous laughter.
1: So, do you dance?
FC: I do a lot of things, but I don't dance. Baton Rouge is the city that rhythm forgot.
1: I don't really dance either. As a matter of fact, I'm perfectly content to people watch all night with you here by my side.
Her hand ran down to touch mine. It had a ring on it.
FC: What does your husband think about that?
Next thing I know, Lisa and Seth have dropped by the table to say hello. They're taking pictures with everyone and we can't continue the conversation we were just having. Lisa dives in to hug Ally, Seth gives me a handshake, sips my drink and asks why there isn't any bourbon in that tumbler.
FC: Gotta behave myself. Long drive back home.
Ally: OH MY GOD LISA! Will is FANTASTIC! Where have you been keeping him? He's funny, he's amazing and he looks hot in a suit! If I wasn't married, he'd be the perfect guy!
(We're cut off by Lisa, she looks at me sternly.)
Lisa: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
FC: What?
Lisa: Yesterday! When I was getting my wedding dress fitted! You called me a half attractive woman.....
FC: It's not a normal occurrence! Most of the women who open my door are total heifers! For real! Take the compliment!
Lisa cracks up, and Seth who has had a few drinks laughs so hard that he damn near falls over. You can hear the cackle of his laugh carry across the lake. The best man props him back up and they all have a laugh. The wedding planner slides in and tells the bride that her cake has been outside of refrigeration for an hour and 15 minutes now and is structurally deficient. They need to cut it now before it collapses in upon itself like a black hole. Lisa grabs Ally, Seth grabs me and the rest of the table follows. We're now part of the wedding cake cutting crew.
7:15 PM: The entourage all takes their Instagram positions as Lisa cuts into her structurally deficient cake and Seth resists the urge to do anything cheeky and fun with frosting. It's cute, everyone toasts the newlyweds.
7:20 PM: I pull Lisa aside privately and I ask her - what the fuck is Ally's deal? "If I wasn't married he'd be the perfect guy?" WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT? A married woman? At a wedding? To a guy she JUST MET?
Lisa: Look, I have no idea how her marriage is going or what her deal is. But just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score.
FC: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
Lisa: It means that maybe, if she's throwing herself at you......you should catch her. I gotta go throw the bouquet. Brb.
FC: .....
7:25 Lisa goes to throw her bouquet and Ally has found me and is back at my side.
1: Where were we? I was just saying to Lisa that I was wondering where a guy like you has been all my life? You are awesome.
FC: I am awesome, and you are married.
1: Yeah, I know. Come on, I really want you......I mean I really want you......to go photobooth with me. Come on, it'll be fun.
She grabs my arm and drags me to the photobooth and she puts ridiculous hats and stuff on me. I'm like no, I've been looking ridiculous enough from birth. i'm good. She literally begs me with puppy dog eyes and does that thing where she shows cleavage.
FC: Isn't this like against one of the ten commandments? Thou shalt not......photobooth with another man's wife?
1: Hmm. Yeah, I guess. You're really sweet though. If I was single, I'd be all over you right now.
FC: Who says that? Really?
1: So, answer me this. You're not an engineer. You're not a pilot. What do you do?
FC: Gun dealer.
1: So if I had something like an AR15 that needed some work, you'd be the guy to call?
FC: Maybe, depending on what you needed - there's a lot of things where I'll just tell you flat out what you're trying to do is uneconomical and a bad idea.
1: Well, I'd really like it if you could check out some of my equipment sometime.
FC, internal monologue: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE
FC, external monologue: Bring it by the gun show this weekend and I'll see what I can do.
I crack an uneasy smile as she gets up to go use the bathroom. I decide it's time to get the fuck out of here.
8:11 Making my escape plan proves to be a little tougher than I expected. The parking at the venue at the lake is dark and unlit and I have to navigate my way back to my car in the dark using the light from my phone. I reach into my jacket and I realize that their card is still inside. Fuck. I gotta go back. I turn around and head back to the gift table and I use some ninja recon skills I picked up in catholic school to make sure Ally is nowhere nearby. The coast is clear. I walk up to the little birdcage they have for cards, drop mine in confidently and get ready to turn on my heel and leave. I start making my way back to the parking lot when Seth is just walking out of the bathroom next to the gift table.
1: Hey man, you heading home?
FC: I am now, forgot to drop off your card.
1: Ally thought you left without saying goodbye to her, so she asked me for your number. I gave it to her.
FC: Oh dear lord.
1: What?
FC: Did you hear that woman? "If I was single, you'd be the perfect guy!" Those words are not in a vocabulary of any married woman I know.
1: Dude, you just gotta chill out and go with the flow man. It's not your marriage. If she wants a piece of you, cut her off a slice.
FC: Are you serious?
1: When I met Lisa, she was still married to Freddie. Look at us now, 7 years later and we're happy. You want to be happy, don't you?
FC: Yeah but....
1: No but's! Go storm the castle! I gotta go, but I'll catch you at the afterparty tomorrow night! You going?
FC: Yeah at your house right?
1: Yeah, what time the gun show wrap up?
FC: 4, so I'll be out by 5.
1: I got steaks going on the grill at 3, I'll get save a nice one for you. You still a medium rare guy?
FC: You know it!
1: I think Ally is gonna be there too, you two should get to know each other a little better.
FC: That's what I'm afraid of!
Seth goes back to his wedding, I hop in the car and drive home. It's almost 10PM as I approach the Jersey mikes by my house. I stop in to grab a sandwich for Sunday.
Just as I walk up I hear one of the sandiwch makers swear she's going to slit the throat of the next person who orders a sandwich. Eep. I tell her I need a giant 9. She starts making me one. I ask her if she's trying to get out of here right at 10? She says yeah, she's trying to catch the end of the Yankees/Red Sox game. I tell her my old man was from Brighton and my mom was from Elmhurst, so there's no love lost there. We have a laugh. She caught the Yankees pummeling the A's in the wild card on Wednesday. I whip out my phone and check the score for her. Yankees are up 6-2. I tell her she should be able to catch the end of it at home or whatever sports bar she's going to. She tells me she's going to the outback steakhouse the next block over to watch it and they better have the game on when she rolls up in 15. I tell her I'll do her one better. I dated the bartender there (once, she friendzoned me) and I'll message her on facebook to have it on for you. It is at this moment, I am asked for the second time that evening - from a strange woman I've just met - where have I been all her life?
I head home, throw my sandwich in the fridge and head to bed wondering WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?
Did FC like get game all of a sudden?
Donald Trump is President.
The Eagles won the super bowl.
You can't make this shit up.
I got one more day at the gun show too.
Postscript: As I write this, it's Columbus day and the Indians, the Redskins and Braves all got their asses handed to them.
We truly live in interesting times.
submitted by FirearmConcierge to guns [link] [comments]

In The City Of Meatbot-Powered Killers (part 4)

Table of Contents.
Part 3.
I hit the dark web for a few minutes, burned a couple of Bitcoin for a block of stolen credit card numbers, and searched for what the hell just happened downtown.
While I took a couple of the platinum card accounts to activate some of my burner phones (their fraud support will save them some charges, and I'll still have some prepaid phones to work with), I digested what the Army and Air National Guard just did.
(*26 hours ago, in RQZ HQ...)
Col. {Jones}, HQ "Six" (HQ6): This is Six, go ahead, sir.
Adjutant General, New York National Guard (AGNY): This operation is strictly need-to-know now, Six. It has been designated "Top Secret: Compartmentalized" at the highest levels, and the code name attached is "Glass Chipmunk."
HQ6: What the... who comes up with this shit... uh, sir?
AGNY: Some spook at the NSA. More time on their hands than sense.
HQ6: Yes, sir.
(Side note: The reason top secret stuff gets odd code-names is because they are words you would not accidentally say in a normal conversation. Try to work "Glass Chipmunk" into a sentence without sounding like you're crazy. It *might** work with someone with a curio collection... sort of like Alpine Shepherd Boy... but otherwise, you will stand out.*)
AGNY: How is the perimeter?
HQ6: Solid, sir. Nothing is getting out of there. We've had a few... anomalies, but no breaches.
AGNY: "Anomalies?"
HQ6: Well... it appears that the mad scientists' little toys don't hole up well in non-humans. We've had some animals come to the wire and just melt. The larger ones, we need to put down... have you ever tried shooting a cat and her kittens? They melted, too.
AGNY: I'll arrange to get some more men rotated in. Things like that obliterate morale.
HQ6: Thank you, sir... but we need a longer-term solution to this. We've gotten lucky, so far, in that only a few infected have tried to hit us. Tracers work well, so we've taken to loading all of our SAWs with nothing else. If they hit us in anything larger than 3 or 4 at a time, we're gonna get overrun in a heartbeat and a half, and you'll have a lot more than a city's worth of these things to worry about.
AGNY: Roger that, Six. I gotta tell ya, Tom... I've never thought, not even once, that we'd be talking about bombing American citizens.
HQ6: Roger that, Six. Voting demographic will definitely shift.
AGNY: Are you suggesting...
HQ6: No, sir. Just a bit of gallows' humor. Whistling in the graveyard, as it were.
AGNY: How about our reluctant big-brain?
HQ6: Still no sign of him. We lost him during his move towards the campus. We think he's in the Advanced Research Labs facility on campus, but we're not sure enough to risk an extraction team in a hostile-heavy area of the city.
AGNY: We have a good set-up on the plaza. Give the green light for the Reaper to launch. You are covered.
HQ6: That's an order?
AGNY: Direct order, Tom. Take solace in the fact that it's an act of mercy for the poor bastards.
HQ6: Yes, sir.
(23 hours ago.)
Reaper drone pilot, designated RD-3: On station, awaiting instructions.
HQ6: What's your load, RD-3:
RD-3: I have 4 Hellfires, sir. I see the target, awaiting order.
HQ6: You've been briefed as to the situation?
RD-3: Yes, sir. Glass Chipmunk. (almost inaudible chuckle)
HQ6: Right. When you have the target locked, you are cleared to engage.
RD-3: Order received. Lightin' em up.
Video footage from RD-3
It's daytime, timestamp on the video is 1106. Wide shot of a square plaza surrounded by concrete and glass buildings, in a Brutalist architectural style.
In the plaza is a large, pulsating mass of bodies, covered in dirt, rags, dried "blood" (in reality, it's mostly meatbots at this point), sweat, and strips of dried flesh.
A fountain in the center has kept these people hydrated since the outbreak. It has allowed this... gathering... to continue unabated.
"Gathering" is too weak a word. It's like a Roman orgy crossed with Cannibal Holocaust or Green Inferno.
The weakest have either stayed at the fringes and devoured what scraps they can, knowing that they have no chance at survival in the main body, or threw themselves in early, were torn to shreds and eaten whole, in order to kill the all-consuming hunger driving them.
The strongest have formed a horrific symbiosis, tearing chunks off of each other, letting chunks get torn from them, then healing enough to repeat the process. The looks of pain when injured are almost indistinguishable from the looks of rapture when they devour a neighbor.
There is no "sex," per se. Hunger has replaced sexual desire. If anything, the erogenous zones seem to be the most targeted areas for consumption... and since they grow back, they get targeted a lot.
I don't want to look. I want to make a bad joke about oral sex and fix myself a bottle of rum. Better still, a keg.
I look anyway.
At 1113, a missile tears into a fuel truck abandoned at the east end of the plaza. The angle is perfect: flaming kerosene or diesel splashes over the crowd, and thick clouds of boiling black smoke quickly fill the space.
Some of the (un)lucky few who escaped the initial blast run away.
Most, either sensing a well-cooked meal or realizing this will end the agonizing hunger, dive into the center of the holocaust.
In one strike, the National Guard have eliminated about 3/4 of the population of [REDACTED].
I've been working frantically for the past day, trying to find a way to protect myself from possible infection. I can't think "if" anymore: those idiots out there will see me at some point and launch an extraction. I've seen enough horror movies to know how catastrophically it will fail, and how likely I will be to have highly-trained, inhibition-impaired, hungry, rapid-healing killers at my door.
Yes, I'm a pessimist.
I know now how we got to this point, and I have the entire sequence ciphered out. My meatbots were part of a power struggle within the group, and were weaponized purely by circumstance.
First, Dr. A. He got in to the GATACA compiler and dropped his little brain bomb in the code. Hidden in the "comments" in the DNA (we had plenty of space to put messages in the DNA, and did so frequently to explain why Sequence 8c, for example, was written to repair a long muscle in a certain manner, rather than another) was his excuse:
Dr. A: By the time you read this, you will no longer head this project. If I can strike quickly and "prove" that you bungled the neuro programming, I can capitalize and run this program as I see fit. Some people aren't worth saving. Others should be reprogrammed for the greater good.
Dr. B followed this up by checking out the endocrine codes and cranking hunger to 1000. His excuse:
Dr. B: Need more. We can fund this by selling the old versions on the black market, and keep the excess for ourselves.
Profiteering, meet societal re-engineering.
It might have gone almost unnoticed, except for player 3.
Late in the project, I had an assistant basically forced on me. Dr. C was also a computer scientist, come to us from government service. He said the right things, asked the right questions, and made himself indispensable.
What I didn't know until last night was, he was a military contractor on the side, and was looking for combat applications for the 'bots.
He knew what the other fuckwits had done, and instead of fixing it...
It was he who showed Bobby the "Jesus room" (he used a different name for each guard, knowing they would be impressed with what was within). He managed to get a copy of Steve's key card to the most pliable guards, then waited for the inevitable.
He got very lucky (or unlucky) that we had just begun to prep for primate trials when Bobby's wife died. He had the "perfect" weaponized version of my project, and its spread was the perfect test.
I know this because the dumb fucker emailed his superiors on a civilian email account.
The NSA grabbed him up rapidly after that. He's sitting in Guantanamo Bay, if there's any justice.
What I've learned in the past 48 hours is sickening.
When I was a kid, I read Frankenstein several times. Mary Shelley shares my birthday, so it's like we're soul mates separated by 200 years.
I always told myself, "Don't let hubris be your downfall. You're doing this for mankind. You're not playing God... you're doing God's work, if we really are created in His/Her image."
This has never been about doing it because we could. It's doing it because we need this... to save lives cut too short by disease or accident.
Do this now, decide later how it should be used. That was always the mission.
Now... now, I'm using my knowledge of chemistry to destroy my life's work. I know what to mix for the best explosives I can make given what I have on hand. The labs we've been working will be utterly annihilated.
There's no way this project gets out. They aren't ready.
They aren't worthy.
Before I do that, though, I am going to call several people and let them know what happened. I am going to tell the press why my malignant miracle is being denied to the world.
NOW I'm playing God.
I've already made several vials of my counter-bots and hid them on my person. They're untested, but better than the alternative.
I may have a way to sneak off-campus, and from there I have a possible way to get out of town. It's going to involve laying low after the powers-that-be order a full sweep and cleanup of the bot-ridden, which I fully expect in a week or so.
I did some very rough calculations. Fatty tissues have probably all been digested by now. Protein can be burned for energy, and some of it will be consumed by each repair and replication cycle. I figure that, in 3 or 4 more days, there won't be enough metabolic energy to drive a flea left in anyone with meatbots in their blood.
Before I do anything else, though... time for a smoke.
I head up to the roof, and take a deep breath... then step to the wall and puke as the foul reek of thousands of roasting bodies pours into my sinuses.
I won't be eating barbecue any time soon.
By some dark miracle, I puke right on a bot-ridden at the base of the building. He looks up, then begins licking the vomit off of himself.
Didn't need to see that.
I move away from the wall. I fumble a smoke from the pack, and light up with very shaky hands.
I also crack the seal on the cheap водка I found in a lab assistant's office and take a deep swig. I dislike the cheap stuff... it has this nasty chemical aftertaste.
All of this is distracting me from the little fucker I puked on, who is free-climbing the wall.
I catch the barest hint of movement out of the corner of my eye as he crests the retaining wall and leaps 20 feet across the roof to tackle me.
I drop the водка and spin quickly to meet him. I'm unarmed, because "Of course they can't get to me. I'm behind two locked doors!" and this is going to kill me...
...and it gets close enough for me to see that "he" is a "she," and she's emaciated and nothing but bone, skin and wiry muscle and hunger and fuck I'm going to have to punch a girl to save my life as I loop a right cross straight into her oncoming jaw, and she drops to the roof...
...and I grab my водка and run for the door as she scrambles to her feet and makes the sprint after me with frightening speed, and I stop and duck as she comes at my back and misses her grab and I stand up straight into her jaw and she staggers backwards...
...and I spin around and plant a solid left into her gut and she doubles over but she has a grip on my back and can't bite through my shirt but I stand up straight and she flips over my back to the ground at my heels...
...and I spin again and kick her in the head and she grabs her head and it gives me just enough time to get to the door and open it...
...but she's on her feet and after me and through the door just as I pull it shut and now I'm in the stairwell to the second floor with a crazed bot-ridden woman who lunges for me...
...so I throw her over the railing and she hangs on barely and I'm running down the stairs and to the second floor entryway and through the door...
...and she drops from the railing and down all the way to the first floor and I hear the CRACK-CRACK of both of her legs snapping on impact and she screams in agony but she's up on both broken legs and trying to limp up the stairs...
...and the door to the second floor closes on the stairwell.
I'm now trapped in the building with a for-now injured bot-ridden.
Oh... and my knuckles are bleeding.
I may be infested as well.
submitted by molotok_c_518 to nosleep [link] [comments]

Ether Thief Remains Mystery Year After $55 Million Digital Heist

Ether Thief Remains Mystery Year After $55 Million Digital Heist 2017-06-13 08:00:18.224 GMT
By Matthew Leising (Bloomberg Markets) -- Summer colds are the worst, and Emin Gün Sirer had caught a wicked bug from his 1-year-old son. So it was with watering eyes and a stuffy nose that the associate professor of computer science at Cornell found himself working from his sickbed on Monday, June 13, 2016. Gün—everyone calls him Gün—couldn’t tear himself away from his laptop. He had another type of bug in his sights, a flaw in a line of computer code he feared put $250 million at risk of being stolen. It wasn’t just any code. It was the guts of the newest breakthrough in software design related to blockchain, the novel combination of decentralized computing and cryptography that gave life to the virtual currency bitcoin in 2009. Since then, the promise of blockchain to transform industries from finance to health care has captured imaginations in corporate boardrooms and governments alike. Yet what the Turkish-born professor was exploring that Monday was the next leap forward from bitcoin, what’s known as the ethereum blockchain. Rather than moving bitcoin from one user to another, the ethereum blockchain hosts fully functioning computer programs called smart contracts—essentially agreements that enforce themselves by means of code rather than courts. That means they can automate the life cycle of bond payments, say, or ensure that pharmaceutical companies can authenticate the sources of their drugs. Yet smart contracts are also new and mostly untested. Like all software, they are only as reliable as their coding—and Gün was pretty sure he’d found a big problem. In an email sent to one of his graduate students, Philip Daian, at 7:30 p.m., Gün noted that the smart contract he was looking at might have a problem—on line 666. (They say the devil is in the details.) Gün feared the bug could allow a hacker to make unlimited ATM-like withdrawals from the millions, even if the attacker, who’d have needed to be an investor, had only $10 in his account. This staggering amount of money lived inside a program called a decentralized autonomous organization, or DAO. Dreamed up less than a year earlier and governed by a smart contract, the DAO was intended to democratize how ethereum projects are funded. Thousands of dreamers and schemers and developers who populate the cutting edge of computer science, most of them young, had invested in the DAO. This was real money, a quarter of a billion dollars, their money, meant to build a better version of the world, and every cent was at risk. Gün, who wears his dark hair short and looks a decade younger than his 45 years, had already been tracking and publicizing flaws in the DAO’s design. A few weeks earlier, on May 27, along with two colleagues, he’d urged investors to stop buying into the DAO until security issues could be fixed. It had been too late, however, and the program went live the next day. Smart contracts such as the DAO are built to be entirely reliant on their code once released on the ethereum blockchain. That meant the DAO code couldn’t be fixed. Other blockchain experts—including Peter Vessenes, co-founder of the Bitcoin Foundation—had also pointed out security flaws in the smart contract, but Gün appears to be the first to pinpoint the flaw that put the money in jeopardy. The problem was the code was so new that no one knew what to ­expect—or even if there was actually a problem in the first place. Gün had his doubts, too. This wasn’t even his job. He does this for fun. Daian didn’t think they’d found anything either. Over email, he said, “We might be up the creek ;).” Later, when Gün pointed to the error in line 666, Daian replied, “Don’t think so.” Gün says, “We don’t sound the alarm bell every time we find a bug that seems suspicious.” Instead, he went to bed to try to kill his cold—the one bug he knew to be real. “I was too miserable to sort it out,” he says. Four days later, Christoph Jentzsch lay on the floor of his home office, taking deep breaths, trying not to panic. It was Friday morning, and software developers all over the Western world were waking up to the news that the DAO, which Jentzsch had created, was being attacked. Gün had been right. Jentzsch, who has dark hair and a perpetual five o’clock shadow, lives with his family in the Mittweida region of Germany, a rural spot not far from the Czech border. Mornings in the Jentzsch household are a whirlwind as he and his wife get their five children—age 2 to 9—fed and off to school. Yet today, after his brother Simon woke him with a call that the DAO was being hacked, Jentzsch had to ignore his familial duties. “You’ve got the kids,” he told his wife. “I have an emergency.”
This is the story of one of the largest digital heists in history. And while you may have heard last year that hackers breached Swift, the bank-to-bank messaging system, and stole $81 million from Bangladesh’s central bank, the DAO attack is in a different category altogether. It played out in front of anyone who cared to watch and couldn’t be stopped. Just as the global WannaCry ransomware attack in May laid bare weaknesses in computer operating systems, the DAO hack exposed the early frailties of smart-contract security and left many in the community shaken because they hadn’t found the bug in time. The aftermath would eventually pit good hackers against bad ones—the white hats vs. the black hats—in the strange and futuristic- sounding DAO Wars. The roots of the DAO belong to an idea Jentzsch borrowed from another internet-fueled phenomenon: crowdfunding. The 32- year-old Jentzsch, a theoretical physicist by training, and a few colleagues started Slock.it in 2015. As they considered how to fund the company, Jentzsch approached it as many had—sell a digital currency, effectively a token, to raise cash. But why should each new startup have to program its own initial coin offering? Jentzsch wondered. What if one huge fund ruled them all? He introduced his idea to the world at DevCon 1 in London in November 2015. “What is the blockchain way of creating a company?” Jentzsch asked his audience. “Of course, it has to be a DAO.” It would work like this: Ether, a virtual currency like bitcoin, would be used to fund and develop applications on the ethereum blockchain—things such as making a music app similar to iTunes or a ride-sharing service along the lines of Uber. Investors would buy DAO tokens with their ether; the tokens would allow them to vote to fund projects they liked. If the app they backed made money, the token holder shared in the profit. In the six months he spent creating the DAO, Jentzsch thought it would raise $5 million. From April 30 to May 28, the DAO crowdfunding pulled in $150 million. That’s when ether traded just below $12. As the price of ether rose in the following weeks to $20.75 the day before the attack, so too did the value of the DAO, putting a $250 million target on this thing Jentzsch had unknowingly brought into the world with a fatal, original sin. “Our hope was it would be the center of a decentralized sharing economy,” says Jentzsch, who now regrets not capping the amount raised. “For such a big experiment, it was way too early.” In the weeks after the attack, Jentzsch and the rest of the ethereum community would come to grips with their own crisis that, writ small, echoed the bank bailouts and government rescues of 2008. “It became too big to fail,” he says. But why would anyone invest in the DAO in the first place? It has something to do with the strain of digital libertarianism at the heart of the ethereum community, much like the set of beliefs that led to the birth of bitcoin. Think of bitcoin as the first global currency whose use can’t be stopped by governments or corporations; on top of that, bitcoin is almost impossible to hack. Ethereum, then, is another level beyond. It’s an uncensorable global computer. As amazing and unprecedented as that is, it’s also a bit terrifying. Brought to life, the DAO ended up staggering off the table and turning on the community that wanted it so badly. Accustomed to working into the night to stay in touch with colleagues in North America, Jentzsch blows off steam by jogging or kayaking on the nearby Zschopau River. Yet on that Friday morning, he had the more pressing task of pulling himself up off the floor and dealing with the attack. “I went into emergency mode: Don’t try to save the DAO,” he says. “No, it’s over.”
It was far from over. Several hours later and half a world away from the Jentzsch household in Mittweida, Alex Van de Sande was waking up in his apartment in the Copacabana neighborhood of Rio de Janeiro. The baby-faced ethereum developer had been born in the small fishing village of Santa Cruz Cabrália in the Bahia region of Brazil and moved with his parents to Rio when he was about 3 years old. These days he’s known as “avsa” on Reddit and Twitter. After reaching for his phone to see why it was blowing up with Skype messages, he turned to his wife and said, “Remember when I was telling you about that huge unhackable pile of money?” She nodded. “It’s been hacked,” he told her. His first thought was to get his DAO tokens out. He owned about 100,000 of them, valued at about $15,000 at the time. He’s the lead designer of the Ethereum Wallet app, a program that allows him and anyone else to interact with the blockchain. Van de Sande scrambled to log in to it, but his password didn’t work. It was glitching, and as he worked to fix it, his panic subsided. He realized he shouldn’t be bailing on the DAO but trying to save it. And to do that, he needed Griff. Griff Green, who’s worked variously as a massage therapist in Los Angeles and a community organizer in Seattle, is one of only a handful of people in the world who holds a master’s degree in digital currencies. He got it online, natch, from the University of Nicosia. A self-described “dreamer,” the 32-year- old is the closest thing Ethereumville has to a mayor. Green knows everybody; in fact, he’d been the first to relay word of the attack to Simon, Jentzsch’s brother and a co-founder of Slock.it. Green had been working for Slock.it for about six months by then and woke up that morning in the house belonging to Jentzsch’s mom in Mittweida. Jentzsch is one of nine children, so his mother had a spare bedroom where she could put Green up for a few days. Using his extensive contacts, Green started identifying as many people as he could who were interacting with the DAO—going so far as to ask strangers to send pictures or scans of their IDs—in an attempt to sort friend from foe. And then something strange happened: The attack stopped working. In the six hours since the attack began, the thief had managed to steal 30 percent of the DAO’s 12 million ether—which that day equaled about $55 million. “We don’t even understand why the guy had stopped,” says Van de Sande. Now Green raced to protect the remaining 70 percent of the DAO the attacker hadn’t stolen. Once Van de Sande got in touch with Green in Germany, along with two or three others, the foundation was laid for what would become known as the Robin Hood group—white hat hackers who’d devise a bold good-guy plan to drain the remaining DAO. To save the DAO, they’d have to steal the remaining ether, then give it back to its rightful owners. And yet as they scrambled that Friday, qualms emerged within the group. “What does it even mean to hack something?” Van de Sande asks. No one knew if what they were about to do was legal. Also, wouldn’t their hack look just as bad as the theft they were trying to stop? Then there were the practical issues. “Who pushes the button?” he remembers wondering. Doing so would initiate their counterattack and alert the community. “Someone has to push the button.” The price of ether the night before the attack had hit an all-time high of just above $20. News of the hack sent it tumbling to $15 by the end of Friday, wiping out almost a half- billion dollars in market value. At that price, the DAO still held $125 million, and the Robin Hood group worried the attack would resume. They might be the only line of defense if it did, so Van de Sande agreed to use his DAO tokens to fuel their counterattack, thereby becoming a public face of the group. At this point, it might help to think of the DAO as the spacecraft in Alien after Ripley initiates the self-destruct sequence. To flee, she’s forced to use an escape pod. DAO investors had to initiate a similar sequence to deploy escape pods that would allow them to get their ether out of the DAO. The code that dictated the escape pods’ behavior is where the bug lived, so to steal the remaining DAO funds the Robin Hood group would have to be in a pod to exploit the flaw—and because of the way Jentzsch wrote the DAO, they had only a short window of time and just a few pods to choose from. A few minutes before launching the attack, Van de Sande joked on the group’s Skype chat, “Let’s go rob a bank!” No one laughed. “Not everyone really appreciated the humor,” he says. In his Copacabana apartment, Van de Sande readied to push the button on his laptop. Then, suddenly, he lost his internet connection. His router was down. “I was like, What the f--- is going on here?” he says. He had less than 30 minutes left to execute the Robin Hood hack. He frantically called NET, his Brazilian internet service provider, but couldn’t get past the automated customer ­service experience. He says the robotic voice told him, “We see there’s an internet issue in your neighborhood.” The irony was not lost on him: Here he was trying to steal millions of dollars from a robot but was being waylaid by another robot. “Then we missed,” he says. The window closed. He went from the high of feeling like they were about to come to the rescue of the vulnerable DAO to the crushing low of having their international connection severed by NET’s breakdown. He took his dog, Sapic—named after the one in Pedro Almodóvar’s All About My Mother—for a walk, then crawled into bed, defeated. The next morning was Saturday, and Van de Sande tried to reconvene the Robin Hood group to infiltrate ­another escape pod. But folks were busy and couldn’t get together. “We felt like the worst hackers in history,” Van de Sande says. “We were foiled by bad internet and family commitments.”
Who, exactly, were they at war with? No one really knows, but there are some clues. One address the attacker used is 0xF35e2cC8E6523d683eD44870f5B7c C785051a77D. Got that? Like everything else in a blockchain, a user’s address is an anonymous string of characters. But every address leaves behind a history on the blockchain that’s open for examination. Not that it makes sense to 99.9 percent of humankind, but Green gets it. To pull off his heist, the attacker needed to create a contract that would interact with the DAO. He did so on June 15 and deployed it in the early morning hours two days later, according to Green. Once activated, the attack contract started sending about $4,000 worth of ether through the attacker’s account every three or four minutes to drain the DAO. But where did the original money to fund the attack come from? To interact with the ethereum blockchain, every contract must be funded by an amount of ether. This attack contract was funded by two addresses, but tracing it further back becomes tricky. That’s because the second address used an exchange called ShapeShift to send 52 ether into its account on June 14. ShapeShift doesn’t collect any information on its users and says it turns one virtual currency, such as bitcoin, into another, like ether, in less than 10 seconds. While there are valid reasons for using ShapeShift, it’s also a great way to launder digital assets and ­cover your tracks. After the attack contract stopped working, the thief needed to deploy it again, says Green. He tried but failed, and after a few more transactions, the hack whimpered to an end. (One possible reason the attack stopped, Green says, is that the hacker’s tokens became corrupted, which means he had no way to exploit the bug.) We know this limited amount of one-sided information from the blockchain’s public record. Digital asset exchanges see both sides. An internal investigation by one such exchange concluded that the DAO attacker was likely part of a group, not a lone wolf, based in Switzerland, according to an executive there who wouldn’t speak on the record or allow the company’s name to be used. ­Exchanges are in the unique position of being able to analyze the trading activity of their customers because they know who they are, even if they’re anonymous on the blockchain. The executive says the exchange shared the analysis with the Boston office of the FBI, though there’s been no further contact since October of last year. Cornell’s Gün says he also spoke to the Boston office of the FBI—and to agents in the New York office and to the New York State Attorney General’s Office. “It’s very difficult to coordinate an attack of this kind without leaving breadcrumbs behind,” Gün says. He encouraged the FBI to look at the ethereum testnet, where programmers can run their code in a safe environment to work out kinks. The attacker wouldn’t just launch such a complicated hack without testing it, Gün says he told federal officials, and the feds might be able to get clues to his identity there. Gün says he also pointed them to addresses linked to the attacker, such as the one described above, that were listed by his grad student Daian on his blog. (The FBI declined to comment.) “I’m absolutely amazed. Why has no one traced this back and found out who did it?” asks Stephan Tual, the third co-founder of Slock.it. “It still bugs me to this day, because what that person has done is incredibly unethical.”
On Tuesday, four days after the initial attack, the hacker returned and somehow resumed the heist. The Robin Hood group had feared this moment would come and was ready. Early Sunday morning they’d finally managed to convene online and successfully infiltrate an escape pod, but had held off their counterattack. Now they had no choice. One strike against the group was their distance from one another—one in Rio, others scattered about Europe. (Some of the group’s members didn’t want to be identified for this story.) It was important that they coordinate their activities because, like in Charlie’s Angels, they all had different specialties: Green the community organizer, Van de Sande the public face, others who wrote the Robin Hood group attack contracts. So Van de Sande needed to be walked through the step-by-step hacking process they were about to unleash, because that wasn’t his area of expertise. “I’ll be honest, I was excited,” Green says. “This is the craziest thing that’s ever happened to me. This is the craziest thing that’s almost ever happened to anyone.” Whether it was legal remains an unanswered question. “You literally have cyber ninjas warring on the blockchain,” says Vessenes, the programming expert. “What they’re doing is almost certainly illegal, but they’re claiming it’s for the greater good.” And now it was Van de Sande’s job to let the community know that the Robin Hood group counterattack was benign. He took to Twitter, where he wrote “DAO IS BEING SECURELY DRAINED. DO NOT PANIC.” A nod to the classic Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, his plea to not panic was met with all the snark and real-life concern Twitter can handle. “NOTHING SAYS DO NOT PANIC LIKE ALL CAPS,” one user responded. “#RealLife is more exciting than

MrRobot !!” tweeted another. Yet as the Robin Hood group attack

gained steam, they noticed something strange and worrisome—the attacker was with them in every escape pod. “We escaped the mother ship, but now we’re alone in space with the alien we were trying to escape,” says Van de Sande. This was a big problem. Because of how Jentzsch wrote his code, the Robin Hood group would have to wait several weeks before they could secure the ether they recovered. Yet if the attacker was in that escape pod with the group, he could just follow them—what’s known as a stalking attack. If the hacker stalked the Robin Hood group, the ether wasn’t really safe after all. “The game only ends when one of these parties doesn’t show up to fight,” Van de Sande says. This, in essence, is the heart of the DAO Wars, the never-ending battle that would have to be waged to keep the recovered ether safe. If only there were a way to reverse the theft once and for all.
What happened next is one of the strangest and most contentious episodes in blockchain’s early history. The morning of July 20 dawned cool and clear in Ithaca, N.Y., the home of Cornell. A weeklong ethereum boot camp on campus had brought developers and programmers from all over the world to town. The mood was anxious, but not because the workshops were about to begin. This was the day the ethereum community would decide to rewrite the past. The weeks since the DAO hack had been filled with acrimonious debate as developers, coders, investors, and other community members considered their options to undo the theft. As the Robin Hood group battled the attacker mostly in private, a public debate was raging. The white hat hackers weren’t the only ones trying to save the DAO. Jentzsch worked almost around the clock, fielding hundreds of requests from DAO investors on what they should do. Vitalik Buterin, 23, who created the ethereum blockchain before he was 20, became a focal point as he led the community through their options. In short, what they could do was change the ethereum blockchain to fix the DAO, but only if they got a majority of computers running the network to agree to a software update. Pull that off, and it’s as though the attack never happened. This is known as a hard fork. The decision stirred such strong reactions that it remains controversial a year later, both within the ethereum community and with bitcoin users who insist a blockchain’s history is never to be tampered with. In an interview in October, Buterin was unapologetic about pushing for the change. “Some bitcoin users see the hard fork as in some ways violating their most fundamental values,” said Buterin, who didn’t respond to requests to speak specifically about this story. “I personally think these fundamental values, pushed to such extremes, are silly.” Within the ethereum community, at least, Buterin’s views won the day, and computer nodes all over the world accepted the fork. Contained in block 1,920,000, the fix to the DAO was simple and did only one thing—if you had ether invested in it, you could now get it out. But why hadn’t the attacker made off with his money? It had been more than a month. The same code that exposed the DAO to the theft, in the end, enabled the ether to be returned. Everything to do with the DAO is a parameter: rules, if-then statements, and more rules that are all finalized before the program is set loose. One of these parameters stated that anyone wanting to get their ether out of the DAO had to wait a certain amount of time—27 days after the initial request, then another seven days. This fail-safe, written by Jentzsch, applied to the attacker as well. So even though somebody had effectively robbed a bank, he then had to wait 34 days before crossing the street to make his getaway. While he was waiting, the money was stolen back. A month after the original heist, the ether thief now had nothing to show for his caper. Back on the Cornell campus, ethereum boot camp attendees celebrated. The next day, Gün brought Champagne to the session he was teaching. He’d pasted makeshift labels on the Chandon bottles with a picture of the utensil that said, “Congratulations on the successful fork.” Then something else unexpected happened. The original ethereum blockchain, the one with the DAO attack in it, kept growing. Imagine a hard fork is a branch of a tree that sprouts in a different direction at the end of the main limb. The end of that limb is supposed to wither after a hard fork, but here it continued to grow as a small group of users continued to process transactions on that version of the blockchain. Instead of dying, this became a second form of ethereum, quickly dubbed ethereum classic, complete with a digital currency that now had value. Even in the ­science fiction world of blockchain, this was an unprecedented turn of events. It meant the DAO attacker suddenly had about 3.6 million ethereum classic coins in his DAO account, known as the DarkDAO, which were slowly gaining in value. The Robin Hood group held about 8.4 million, because in this parallel universe they still controlled 70 percent of the DAO funds they had recovered. The Robin Hood group couldn’t believe it. “We did everything to avoid this, but now we’re being dragged back into this fight,” Van de Sande says. Now, the bitcoin supporters who viewed the hard fork as a violation of the core values of blockchain could back up their belief by buying ethereum classic. That’s exactly what entrepreneur Barry Silbert, a heavyweight in bitcoin circles, did. “Keep in mind, the original chain is ethereum classic,” he says. “The fork is ethereum.” Putting his money where his mouth is, Silbert’s firm, Grayscale Investments, recently issued an investment thesis outlining the benefits to ethereum classic over ethereum. A section heading sums up the rationale: “The DAO and the Death of Principles.” Alexis Roussel, co-founder of Bity.com, a digital currency broker in Switzerland, still marvels at the aftereffects of the hard fork and the wild world of the blockchain. “This is something that doesn’t happen in traditional finance,” he says. “If something happens with Apple, you don’t suddenly have a clone of Apple.”
It’s been about a year since the DAO attack, enough time to take stock of what went wrong. Van de Sande is eager to move on. “It was really just a blip,” he says. “We are ready to move past it and leave the DAO story behind us.” Green, who’s organizing an ethereum conference at this summer’s Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert, has kept a sense of humor about it. “The Robin Hood group was just a s--- show,” he says with a laugh. “I hope the movie portrays it better than it actually was.” As for the bug itself, apparently many smart people looked at the code before Gün but missed one major flaw. The order of commands in the code allowed DAO token holders to withdraw any profit they’d made from their investments. It reads “withdrawRewardFor(msg.sender)” and adds, almost improbably, a note to anyone reading the code that says, “be nice, and get his rewards.” That’s line 667—let’s call it “The Neighbor of the Beast Bug.” If the withdraw line had come after these lines:
totalSupply -= balances[msg.sender]; balances[msg.sender] = 0; paidOut[msg.sender] = 0; return true;
the attack wouldn’t have been possible, Jentzsch says. But if the code had been in the correct order, the reward parameter wouldn’t have worked. As for the note, this line of code was meant to allow investors to withdraw any profit—“Reward”—their investments had earned. Instead it became one of the biggest backdoors in hacking history. It would have been better to not pay rewards during the split function from the DAO, what we’ve been referring to here as the escape pods, according to Jentzsch. Another decision he made when he had no idea of the bug shows how quirky and unforgiving code can be. “If the capital ‘T’ in line 666 had been a small ‘t,’ that would also have prevented the hack,” he says. Jentzsch has many regrets but insists no one was aware of the specific problems in lines 666-667 (other observers had pointed to flaws in other lines, just not here). Had more people looked, “it would have made no difference at all,” he says. “If you don’t know what to look for in a security audit, you won’t find it.” Even Gün, who had it in his grasp, let it go. “I still missed it,” he says. Green’s emotions are still raw related to Gün. “I actually got really pissed at him about this,” Green says. “He started bragging about how he found the bug.” He adds that it was “very irresponsible of him to not tell anyone of his inkling.” Still, Green “respects the hell out of Gün” and says they’ve since made amends. Asked to recount that night last June as he lay sick in bed, Gün says, “I came away from this thinking there’s potentially an issue.” But he’d consulted Daian, his grad student (“whom I trust”). Daian had said it’s “not exploitable.” Gün says that had he been certain of the danger, “I would have told people.” In a blog post that explained the mechanics of the DAO heist Daian published the night of the attack, he gave a shoutout to his professor in the acknowledgments. “Gün, we were so damn close—sorry it wasn’t quite enough this time :),” Daian wrote. As for the attacker (whoever he or she or they are) and the ethereum classic booty, Gün says, “Great, wonderful, he should cash out.” The hard fork proved it wasn’t just the DAO that needed to be fixed, but the ethereum blockchain itself. He says: “The fault lies somewhere on the system side as well.” But the fear that smart contracts are too clever by half and that by extension so is the ethereum blockchain itself—prevalent in the days following the DAO attack—has dissipated. At least that’s the market’s verdict, judging by the price of ether. After the attack, it traded from $10 to $12 for about nine months. Then in March it took off; it’s valued at $341.19 as of June 12. (That would have valued the DAO at $4.1 billion, but let’s not even go there.) Ethereum classic has risen as well, and it now trades for $18.71. Both versions of ether remain viable, in other words. The thief holds one; the revisionists, the other. Going forward, the choice is really: Whom would you rather believe? Since the hard fork, the attacker ended up making off with his ethereum classic. That means he got away with about $67.4 million, assuming the stash hasn’t been sold. Not too shabby, 0xF35e2cC8E6523d683eD44870f5B7cC785051a77D.
Leising covers market structure at Bloomberg News in New York.
To contact the author of this story: Matthew Leising inNew York at [email protected] To contact the editor responsible for this story: Joel Weber at [email protected]
submitted by Degoony to ethereum [link] [comments]

Izumi3682 Archives

When will we see the first VR blockbuster movie? by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 2 points 3 months ago
VR is not so easy to make movies for. Plus, VR by its very nature requires one human per hmd. So the method of distribution is not as clear cut as a motion picture cinema. I mean the distribution is fine, in fact it is probably easier than ever. What is difficult is that you have to be in a VR hmd to watch the movie. Mass consumption of a motion picture will not come quickly.
But give things a couple of years. Really, that's it--maybe about 5 years, when VR hmds are more like glasses (and they're gonna be) The FOV will be to your peripheral vision, the resolution will look like, well, real life depending on things like "meta-lenses" and "light-field" technology.
I'm an early adopter of VR. On my Oculus Rift is a VR experience that is not a movie per se, but a demonstration of the commitment of Hollywood to develop for VR. The app is called "Within" and the short is called "Take Flight". It is star studded. It is also one of the truly fully 3D VR features out there. A lot of VR real life imagery is 360 degree immersive, but 2D flat like an Omni theater around you sort of. This short though? Wow! I highly recommend it.
But this short is analogous to a motion picture made in say, 1895 by the 'Lumière brothers'. Film makers don't really understand the method of the medium just yet. We have not even arrived at a Georges Méliès moment yet. But as the decades go by, it's going to get pretty crazy with new forms of genre that simply don't exist today. Many movies will probably center directly on the observer in some kind of way. The trick is to get you look where the director wants you to look. "Take Flight" does that by putting the action in a full orbit around you. The effect is pretty keen, but probably primitive by standards of say 20 years from now. Of course since this is futurology, things may be way different in 20 years too. All that "accelerating change" you know.
I just got me delivered an 'Oculus Go' yesterday from Amazon. I watched a very good resolution "Take Flight" 100% tether free.
It's like... magick.
I have some very distinct thoughts about VR if you like.
https://www.reddit.com/Futurology/comments/7r42h0/vr_is_going_to_be_like_nothing_the_world_has_eve
Further...
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (4)editdelete
How Important is it for Self-Driving Cars to be Electric? by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 2 points 3 months ago
Interestingly automobiles were developed to be electric as early as 1884. Thomas Edison tried his darndest to popularize the electric car. Even early models of electric cars were nearly silent with a gentle hum, they did not have to be cranked and they did not vibrate and stink of fumes. But it was simply too early in rechargable battery history for the electric car to take. Also they just could not drive as fast as an ICE. By 1913 with the advent of the electric starter (no more hand cranking) and an absolute plentitude of petroleum--cheap gas and collaborating automotive manufacturers put an end to the electric car almost in it's entirety as a dedicated consumer product until pretty much the 1980s.
Now of course our electric cars have prodigious battery storage capacity (range), can drive just as fast if not faster than any ICE and one can be charged in roughly the time it takes to pump gas in a regular ICE.
I don't see a downside to this. Certainly it would help to abate human caused global warming. And to argue that they are too quiet and can't be heard approaching is one of the stupider arguments in human history. To me that is like saying; " Where are we going to get all our transplantable organs from without healthy people tragically (but usefully) dying in human caused MVAs once these SDVs take over?"
Plus I want that futuristic "hum" in my level 5 autonomy subscription SDV.
permalinksavecontextfull comments (2)editdelete
Delivering VR in Perfect Focus With Nanostructure Meta-lenses by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 2 points 3 months ago
This is my quote from the other day. I knew this was coming.
Then we have VAR. It is ultimate primitive today. But already powerful new technologies are developing that will take VAR, but particularly VR and will make it a technological phenomenon such as the world has never seen. The most recent was that weird "metalens" that I just learned about the other day. And everyone else did too. It was big news in this sub-reddit. But my point is that technology is ideally suited to advance our VR in ways that we cannot today even comprehend.
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (5)editdelete
Tesla making model 3 battery packs in 17 minutes down from 7 hours by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 1,329 points 3 months ago
Interesting takeaway about "over-automating" things.
“One example would be, we have these fiberglass mats on top of the battery pack. They’re basically fluff. We tried to automate the placement and bonding of fluff to the top of the battery pack, which was ridiculous. ‘Flufferbot,’ which was really an incredibly difficult machine to make work. Machines are not good at picking up pieces of fluff. Hands are way better at doing that.
Me: "Not for much longer I bet."
permalinksavecontextfull comments (638)editdelete
Future sailors: what will ships look like in 30 years? by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] -3 points 3 months ago
Watch out for the return of the sailing ship.
I don't care if ships start getting sails again, as long as I have awesome VR and can live forever.
permalinksavecontextfull comments (3)editdelete
The Army Is Working on Brain Hacks to Help Soldiers Deal With Information Overload by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 4 points 3 months ago
Important takeaway:
Separately from the Army's Cognition and Neuroergonomics Collaborative Technology Alliance and DARPA's Squad X, the military has been working on an “implantable neural interface” that could allow soldiers and AIs to directly communicate.
That's right, a brain modem, one that translates data into electronic impulses that are compatible with a human being's own thoughts.
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (2)editdelete
Biology will be the next great computing platform, DNA will be the code that runs it, and CRISPR will be the programming language. by mvea in Futurology


[–]izumi3682 5 points 3 months ago
I always think something like that too. But then I think about what exactly our goals are.
Consider the bird and the horse. Humans have always wanted to fly like the bird. Through science and technology we managed to fly like the bird. But our manmade "birds" today can move at nearly seven times the speed of sound. I am not even including spacecraft. For most of recorded human history we used the horse to travel about and carry things. Now our manmade emulations of the horse are the multitude of methods of artificial automotive transportation to include the train and the plane, the car and the truck. These clever emulations courtesy of the industrial revolution took the example of the bird and the horse and changed them beyond anything we could recognize and improved them, by our standards, absolutely astronomically. And darned if the narrow AI is not going to soon be running all of these devices in another exponential technological improvement. Watch as in the next few years you see the advent of the level 5 autonomy human passenger carrying flying drone!
Just imagine what our emulations of the human mind are going to be like.
permalinksavecontextfull comments (8)editdelete
The Oculus Go is a VR headset for grannies, and that’s a good thing by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 2 points 3 months ago
Wow! Some people downvoted the dickens out of me I don't know why. But I agree with you that games are but the tip of the iceberg when it come to VR. Read what I have to say and see what you think.
https://www.reddit.com/Futurology/comments/6h7xtt/gamers_arent_buying_the_vr_hype_and_game_makers/diw60gy/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (8)editdelete
The Oculus Go is a VR headset for grannies, and that’s a good thing by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] -3 points 3 months ago
I talk about VR a lot. Here is some of my commentary if you like.
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (8)editdelete
Pilot study validates artificial intelligence to help predict school violence by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 2 points 3 months ago
Important takeaway:
The researchers found that machine learning - the science of getting computers to learn over time without human intervention - is as accurate as a team of child and adolescent psychiatrists, including a forensic psychiatrist, in determining risk for school violence.
permalinksavecontextfull comments (1)editdelete
Artificial intelligence vs intelligence augmentation by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 1 point 3 months ago
Well now, this is kinda what we should be angling towards. A manner of easily accessing the narrow AI with our minds. This is not so much a tomorrow or next year technology though. I would say it is going to take between 20-30 years to realize. That seems kind of long from today, but in the scheme of human recorded history of the last 6,000 years, it is as brief a time as the life of a mayfly. And the reason I say 6,000 years is because on the other side of that is a mostly (hopefully) 'human friendly' technological singularity.
A human of today, 2018, would no more be able to comprehend a derived human after that TS, than an australopithecus could comprehend a homo sapiens sapien's abstract thought, language based speech and tool-making abilities.
I see evidence of efforts today that we are striving to work towards that kind of TS. The development of the BMI and even that neat little trick of a device that can attach to your head externally and can "understand" your sub-vocalizations and have a assistant bot chat back to you through an earphone, demonstrates that not too long from now, we will have the sum total of all human knowledge within each human mind as naturally accessible as breathing. But a lot more understanding of how thoughts and neurons and neural networks and interfaces work needs to be done. Like I said 20-30 years.
But of course so many other factors are going to come into play in that intervening time, that this technology will seem very logical to everyone. And it is absolutely going to be necessary. I read not too long ago that in the last 2 years we have produced more information than the last 6,000 years up to 2 years ago, combined. See? That is why we call it "big data". (Yes, I understand a significant percentage of that is screamingly funny cat videos--but that doesn't detract from the point I'm trying to make.)
To be able to proceed as a sentient outer space or inner space (I have a "theory" about that) civilization we are going to have to be able to gainfully access and use that data. And we are also going to have be able to continuously absorb further data as well. As of today I have no idea how we are going to do this. I always fall back on my argument that if the laws of physics as we understood them in the year 1400, today 2018 or will in 3018, allow such a thing, we will at some point accomplish it.
And there is one more point that I must emphasize here in relation to all of this discussion. The term is "accelerating change".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accelerating_change
It is definitely a very real, demonstrable phenomenon. Our computer processing speed and capacity, "Moore's Law" be damned, is exponentially improving. All of the full sum of data we have today, plus our processing power is going to double in less than 5 years at a maximum. Sit for a second and take that in. And I am being wycked conservative here. I am not even taking the potentially transcending impact of fully functional quantum computers into account. The so-called impending "quantum supremacy". That in itself may change the rules of the game in ways we already can't imagine.
This processing speed, data capacity and our feverish development of AI, put humanity into a sort of race now. Will the AI stay external from the human mind? Or will we meld with it? Staying external worries me. External AGI and a potential EI could mean the end of our run. To my way of thinking the AI must merge with the human mind. I really don't think there is a choice. But like I said before, the resulting humans would be... well, not business as usual. A first step towards abandoning biology I suspect.
Further...
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (1)editdelete
Watch physicist Roger Melko talk about the rapid advance of machine learning and the possibility of human-level artificial intelligence in this Perimeter Institute lecture. by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 1 point 3 months ago
One of the things that equally tickles me and worries me is how we think the AI will "stop" exponentially improving upon reaching "human" level intelligence.
Have you ever been to an airshow where an F-15 whooshes by you about 100 feet above the ground?
Like that.
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (1)editdelete
The force by which a small magnet pulls a needle from the ground is more than the force by which the entire earth pulls the needle toward itself. by sigma_alpha in Showerthoughts


[–]izumi3682 4 points 3 months ago
Oh I can take that one further. The Earth with everything on it is gravitationally attracted to you.
permalinksavecontextfull comments (7)editdelete
Technology is finally going to kill car dealers, and consumers win by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 21 points 3 months ago
So many institutions and norms in the last say, fifty years have been absolutely essential or at worst essential necessary evils. I am telling you that in as little as ten years, the world is going to change almost incomprehensibly.
The industrial revolution took roughly 200 years to fully unfold. This next revolution which I place as beginning in the year 2012 when GPU narrow AI began to really take hold, will take about 20 years to unfold.
We are approaching a knife edge of danger before we even have to worry about "AI overlords". The narrow AI, robotics and automation are going to, if not eliminate most employ, are certainly going to eliminate enough employ that we will hit a critical mass of societal unease. The potential of revolt and upheaval is high.
I can only speak for the USA here, but the USA government is well aware of what is coming and is frankly concerned. Here is an official report from about 18 months ago. I read this and I can see why there is concern.
First, here is the report dated Dec 2016.
https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/sites/whitehouse.gov/files/documents/Artificial-Intelligence-Automation-Economy.PDF
To make a long story short, the USA government recognizes what is coming in terms of AI, robotics and automation. The hope is that workers can be "retrained" or can accommodate to the AI, robotics and automation within a given profession. Ideas such as UBI and "post-scarcity are dismissed out of hand.
Here is the link to a comment I made a while back explaining the difference between an industrial revolution that took 200 years to unfold versus an AI revolution that is going to take about 20 years to unfold.
https://www.reddit.com/Futurology/comments/740gb6/5_myths_about_artificial_intelligence_ai_you_must/
Further...
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (85)editdelete
As AI advances rapidly, More Human Than Human says, “Stop, let’s think about this” by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 1 point 3 months ago
No, it is just a self post. You don't see my text?
permalinksavecontextfull comments (5)editdelete
Apple Leaks Reveal VR Headset That Makes HTC Vive Look Ancient by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 1 point 3 months ago
Oh! Sorry miss knickers--I was addressing mr faded there. He challenged me on my predictions and the timing of them.
permalinksavecontextfull comments (8)editdelete
Bitcoin is the greatest scam in history by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 1 point 3 months ago
Nah, I don't even pay attention to things like that. My knowledge of such things is far too limited. But I am still pretty excited about the future of course!
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
(Oh! I just realized you are all about Bitcoin. Well, you are one of the fewer smarter people. It's all good.)
permalinksavecontextfull comments (92)editdelete
Bitcoin is the greatest scam in history by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] -2 points 3 months ago
I have always thought so. It took us 6,000 years to develop "fiat" in regular money. "Bitcoin" and it's ilk are just a few smarter humans taking advantage of the far larger cohort of less smart humans. In a sort of backhanded compliment, I see this as a good comment on the eternal brilliant cleverness of the human intellect. We will figure out AGI in no time I bet.
I'll just wait for "post-scarcity" my ownself. I been working 39 years. I can hang for 8 more til I retire. Or the AGI takes over. Or something.
(AGI doesn't exist as of 1 May 2018 BTW)
permalinksavecontextfull comments (92)editdelete
VR Needs More Social: 77% of Virtual Reality Users Want More Social Engagement by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 2 points 3 months ago
Whoa--whoa! Give them a bit of time to get things right. VR as a consumer product has been available for 2 years. In the last one year, two highly advanced social VR sites came into being. Both are directly derived from "Second Life" btw. I just wanted to throw that in because I have been happily hanging out in SL for over ten years now. Anyway, the two sites are "High Fidelity" and "Sansar". I have been to HF numerous times. For as limited as VR is yet, this is a pretty darn well realized VR social arena.
Here is more detail if you are interested. I also talk quite a bit about Google EarthVR which is something else you might find truly amazing when it comes to VR.
https://www.reddit.com/Futurology/comments/6h7xtt/gamers_arent_buying_the_vr_hype_and_game_makers/diw60gy/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (2)editdelete
Apple Leaks Reveal VR Headset That Makes HTC Vive Look Ancient by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] -2 points 3 months ago
Yes but decades ago is not today. Things is different now. The last 8 years is the difference.
Also what is "magical"? Are you implying I am employing "magical thinking"?
https://www.reddit.com/Futurology/comments/8g8dk3/as_ai_advances_rapidly_more_human_than_human_says/dy9kvg0/?context=0
https://www.reddit.com/Futurology/comments/4k8q2b/is_the_singularity_a_religious_doctrine_23_apr_16/d3d0g44/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (8)editdelete
Artificial intelligence is silly by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 4 points 3 months ago
The author of this article is thinking too limitedly. He is thinking like a human in the year 2018. He is trying to juxtapose what our world up to now is and has been, with what the future is going to bring. That is like trying to envision the year 1970 from the year 1920. Lots of airplanes, zeppelins and skyscrapers and searchlights, because searchlights were considered to be absolutely amazing technology in the year 1920.
What is coming in the next 5-30 years is going to be beyond anything that humans in the year 2018 can properly envision. That is partly because our minds in their current biological configuration, absent AI enhancement, simply cannot conceive of what the changes are going to be like.
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (4)editdelete
Apple Leaks Reveal VR Headset That Makes HTC Vive Look Ancient by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] -1 points 3 months ago
See? I told you.
https://www.reddit.com/Futurology/comments/7r42h0/vr_is_going_to_be_like_nothing_the_world_has_eve
Further...
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (8)editdelete
As AI advances rapidly, More Human Than Human says, “Stop, let’s think about this” by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 4 points 3 months ago
Too late. The cat's out of the bag. Not only can we not stop or even slow the advance of our AI development, but it is clearly now in a point of acceleration wherein the rate of acceleration itself is accelerating. Our science, technology, even economies are inextricably dependent on the ever increasing speed of (narrow, for now) AI development.
This may seem alarming to you, but draw back to a universal overview, one far removed from the planet Earth and you will see this is a likely natural and normal "evolution" of the universe itself.
https://www.reddit.com/Futurology/comments/6zu9yo/in_the_age_of_ai_we_shouldnt_measure_success/dmy1qed/
Further...
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (5)editdelete
Progress on designing multi-generation interstellar asteroid ship (Me: BIG logical thinking error here) by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 1 point 3 months ago
In this case, the thriving community of space explorers who — unlike computers, AIs and robotics — need to LIVE. To eat, exercise, work, have fun, sleep, get sick, get well, get old, die and make new people in turn. Many of the ‘’people maintenance’’ functions we can imagine are really pretty easy to turn over to AI powered robotics.
Me: People on interstellar "asteroid ships"--"They're just like US!"
I don't think we are going to go on asteroid ships to the stars. In fact ultimately I don't think we are going to the stars at all. To me this concept smacks of the ancient Romans envisioning an olive tree one thousand feet high that can provide olive oil to the entire empire.
I think the future will go more like this...
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
permalinksavecontextfull comments (1)editdelete
This Presidential Hopeful Wants to Save America From an A.I. Takeover by izumi3682 in Futurology


[–]izumi3682[S] 2 points 3 months ago
Thank you! To me the important thing is getting this information out there. A perfect analogy for homo sapiens sapiens and our humanity today is the massive intricately tunneled ant mound, with all of its wars and problems and achievements and minutiae of their everyday lives lived in utter chemical pheromone tunnel vision. They have no idea or even concept of the massive earth mover about to fully end all they know.
This link here is a bit of a rabbit hole, but I have learned the very hard way that my old commentary eventually vanishes into distance and I can no longer access it. Years and years of commentary now gone to me. So I have begun to consolidate and save in large link chunks what I can, when I think something is relevant. Here is a link that leads to one of those rabbit holes if you like. You will find many links to videos and sources.
https://www.reddit.com/useizumi3682/comments/8cy6o5/izumi3682_and_the_world_of_tomorrow/
submitted by izumi3682 to u/izumi3682 [link] [comments]

The Sonic Movie in 3 and a Half Minutes - YouTube Ankit Jmd - YouTube Bitcoin entrepreneurs Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss. - YouTube INCREDIBLES 2 in 3 minutes (Movie Recap) - YouTube EVERY Halloween Movie in 3 Minutes!!  Animated Recap 2019

Full The Economic Club of New York Events – Peter Thiel (Bitcoin discussion) March 23, 2018. Please also see What does Twitter CEO, Overstock.com CEO and Peter Thiel have in common Click here  … Read Full Article about Full The Economic Club of New York Events – Peter Thiel (Bitcoin discussion) Millennials Trust Bitcoin More Than Fiat – NYSE Chairman. March 22, 2018. NYSE Chairman ... 23 OKB: 1,262,155,660 : 275,512,058 : $4.58 : $39,662,951 ... The Bitcoin network is essentially a ledger containing a record of all Bitcoin transactions made since 2009, the network launch. There are thousands of nodes, which anyone can operate anonymously. Nobody owns or controls the Bitcoin network, and updates to the software are accepted by community consensus. More nodes makes for a more ... As a result, they can transfer it between each other within a matter of minutes or seconds, and at a cost of 2% or less of the total transaction value. If you know 2nd grade math, then it’s pretty easy to see that a global currency would be beneficial for everybody who’s reliant on remittance payments around the world. With that being said, there are a couple ways that one could make a ... Top 3 ways to earn bitcoin by completing microtasks. Top 3 ways to earn bitcoin by completing microtasks. Bitcoin blogspot feb 2019. Magic bitcoin - android app on appbrain. Conti enel, i numeri del 2018 e il dividendo 2019. Usd to bitcoin live converter. Bitcoin chart and crypto ebook 2020.03.10. Buy & sell Crypto in minutes. Join the world's largest crypto exchange. Register Now. Binance Lists Audius (AUDIO), Deposits Are Now Open. 10-23. More. Name. Last Price. 24h Change. Markets . BNB. BNB – – BTC. Bitcoin – – ETH. Ethereum – – XRP. Ripple – – BCH. Bitcoin Cash – – LTC. Litecoin – – View more markets. Trade. Anywhere. Mobile. All the power of Binance's ...

[index] [9607] [9550] [41714] [1478] [12732] [512] [16772] [49439] [26047] [3854]

The Sonic Movie in 3 and a Half Minutes - YouTube

Polymath explained in under 2 minutes. Polymath enables trillions of dollars of securities to migrate to the blockchain Let the stampede begin. Telegram Group: t.me/polymathnetwork Just in time for Halloween. Relive every Halloween movie ever made and all of Michael Myers, Paul Rudd, Dr. Loomis, and Laurie Strode's most horrifying moments in just 3 minutes! And no! Those ... They became famous as the privileged pair of Harvard athletes who believe Mark Zuckerberg stole their idea for Facebook. Now, entrepreneurs Cameron and Tyler... What Is Bitcoin Explained in_Hindi Zebpay treading India. - Duration: 23 minutes. 15,251 views; 2 years ago; CC; 4:01. Bitcoin (BTC) kya hai full details in HINDI - Duration: 4 minutes, 1 second ... Sonic the Hedgehog sped into everyone's consciousness the day that fateful trailer was released. It then came to theaters 10 months later, and to everyone's ...

#